Welcome to the latest installment of the week’s funniest dad memes and tweets.
Grab a seat and enjoy this collection of dad jokes, puns, memes, and rants from some funny AF dads.
we bought a cordless stick vacuum and i can't stop vacuuming everyday please send help
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) August 17, 2023
Every time we go out as a family, my wife spends half the time yelling “What did we talk about before we left home?” She even says it to the kids.
— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) August 17, 2023
My 10yo mentioned that they could start running track in sixth grade and I was like “are you gonna run track next year?” and she was like THIS (motioning to herself) will not be running track.
— Dad Named Matt 🇺🇸 (@mahnamematt) August 14, 2023
Dolphin baby: How did you and Mom meet?
Dolphin Dad: we met in school.
Dolphin Mom: Don’t…
Dolphin Dad: And we just clicked.
— PUNS (@ThePunnyWorld) August 17, 2023
my sister-in-law: sometimes happiness is hard to find.
my 8yo, whispering to me: you should tell her the corner store has blue slurpees.
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) August 13, 2023
The older I get the more I understand why my Grandparents mumbled under their breath.
— Dan Regan (@DanRegan_Comedy) August 17, 2023
I don’t know why, but for some reason I have to tell my toddler not to lick the wall
— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) August 14, 2023
My wife and I are the best parents to our kids when we are on a date night and drunk
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) August 18, 2023
me: On Big Bird's home planet, he's actually the smallest bird
Bus driver: PLEASE get off of my lap
— 🍁Graham Kritzer (@GrahamKritzer) August 14, 2023
Refrigerators should have a designated pizza shelf. A shelf that’s the exact dimensions of a large pizza box, including thickness so you can’t stack stuff on top of the box. A pizza box slot.
— Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) August 15, 2023
Every time we pass one of these signs my kids say “Road work ahead? I sure hope it does!”. Makes me laugh every time. pic.twitter.com/WQTaLnFJtY
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) August 15, 2023
Preparing to move our two boys back to college so right now it looks like a Staples store and a Bed, Bath & Beyond collided in my living room.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) August 17, 2023
Clothes shopping with my 11 y/o daughter when she declares she would love to dress in more bright colors but “at the same time, I’m a messy eater.” It takes many years for some people to reach this level of self-awareness.
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) August 13, 2023