Opinion

Co-Sleeping Truths Every Parent Should Know Before Giving Up Their Bed

I pretty much knew from the moment we found out I was pregnant that we were going to co-sleep. It just made sense to me. What I did NOT know was how co-sleeping would be such a game-changer.

Did it change things for the good?

For the worse?

It depends on the day.

Anyparentwho co-sleeps can tell you thatfactalong with these seven other co-sleeping truths to consider before you share your bed:

Co-Sleeping Truth #1:People care waaaaaay too much that you co-sleep

My kids sleep in bed with me. Get over it. I know how to co-sleep safely, so you dont need to tell me that Im risking my childs life and acting selfishly. You do you, Ill do me, and Ill get less sleep than you because co-sleeping is wonderful but exhausting.

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Co-Sleeping Truth #2: When you say you feel like youve been hit by a truck, you arent lying

It isnt just the kids in bed with us; its also the toys, which any night could mean a Batman figure, a dump truck, a stuffed animal, a current favorite book or the plastic eggs that came with the toy kitchen set. No matter what it is, I will roll over on it or have it smashed into my face at some point during the night.

Co-Sleeping Truth #3:Nothing spices up your sex life like having to do it someplace other than your bed

Its a good thing we got the house with the walk-in closet, wink wink.

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Co-Sleeping Truth #4: Alarms are totally unnecessary

You cant hit snooze on a toddler. You can, however, squeeze in some extra time in bedtime by offering the kid your cellphone, as long as you dont mind listening to Curious George squeak in your ear for a while. Sleeping with kids in your bed means that you are more or less victim to their schedule. If they are up at 5, so are you. Thats why we are in bed by 9 p.m. every night.

Co-Sleeping Truth #5: The noises get weird

After so many years of marriage, you pretty much have each other figured out. I know that hell snore when he has a cold, and he knows that Ill wake up screaming once a week due to a nightmare in which all my teeth fall out. The kids, however, add a whole new element of noise. Weird noises. Scary noises. Smelly noises.

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Co-Sleeping Truth #6: Pillow talk involves more pillows and less talking

How many Thomas the Train or dinosaur-themed pillows can we fit in our bed? Dont forget the three stuffed animals that the kid CANT SLEEP WITHOUT, especially because despite the fact that there are 50 pillows in the bed, youll end up with your head on Crocky the Alligator all night.

Oh, and there is no chit-chatting in bed anymore, because its going to wake up the kid and God knows how absolutely terrible it is to wake an exhausted child.

Co-Sleeping Truth #7: Its a love/hate thing

I hate how little sleep I get, but I love cuddling with my kids because soon enough, they wont want to. Its worth getting kicked in the face all night long for those few moments of sweet snuggling I get. I guess.

Kate Meier has two kids and zero tolerance for people who criticize parents for bullshit reasons. Go enjoy her sarcastic sense of humor at her blog,My Kind of Parenting, orhereon Facebook.

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