Welcome to the latest installment of the week’s funniest dad memes and tweets.
Grab a seat and enjoy this collection of dad jokes, puns, memes, and rants from some funny AF dads.
You think you're cool, until you hear a recording of your voice.
— Dan Regan (@DanRegan_Comedy) October 4, 2023
My boss asked me why I only get sick on work days.
I said it must be my weekend immune system.
— PUNS (@ThePunnyWorld) October 5, 2023
Tonight is the dads vs kids soccer game so there’s a 90% chance I’ll be calling in injured to work tomorrow.
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) October 3, 2023
My teen doesn’t just half ass her chores. She also quarter asses them
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) October 5, 2023
One of the fun things about being married is your spouse stops asking what you want from take out restaurants.
You get what you got last time.
Want something else? Too bad. You should have ordered it last time.
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) October 5, 2023
We may not have reached all of our financial and life goals as a couple, but my wife of over 20 years and I completed a corn maze together without a single fight and had fun doing it so we’re just going to take that as our sign of a successful marriage.
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) October 1, 2023
8: how come the floor feels so different?
me: we cleaned it.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) October 5, 2023
At any given moment in time there is a 4 year-old child named Jaxxon absolutely losing his shit at a Chuck E Cheese
— 🍁Graham Kritzer (@GrahamKritzer) September 26, 2023
Went to a kid’s birthday party where they gave away slime and glitter glue. So I wiped off a few “no school” days from their white board calendar
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) October 4, 2023
Son: Who do you love more, me or my brother?
Me: Impossible for me to answer. That’s like me asking who you love more, me or your –
— Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) September 25, 2023
A haunted house but every room is a work cubicle and you're surrounded by coworkers eating yogurt, apples and chips.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) October 5, 2023
Those kids’ swim lessons were great ! Now I can teach my kids what I learned from them.
— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) October 5, 2023