Welcome to the latest installment of the week’s funniest dad memes and tweets.
Grab a seat and enjoy this collection of dad jokes, puns, memes, and rants from some funny AF dads.
Wife: Stop singing that.
Me: But it's festive.
Wife: It is NOT festive.
Me: It's sung to a festive tune.
Wife: Just stop singing it.
Child: Who's Scarface the Blow-Man?
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) November 17, 2023
welcome to your 40's. your right knee doesn't work anymore and your left ear grows more hair than your head does.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) November 16, 2023
the best part of driving to Florida is West Virginia. Is there going to be some sort of 'Hills Have Eyes' scenario? Does that child have three hands? Is that entire town on fire?
Just beautiful chaos i love it.
— 🍁Graham Kritzer (@GrahamKritzer) November 16, 2023
I’m not positive but I think the new IOS update actually corrects the word fuck if you spell it wrong
— Chris Illuminati (@chrisilluminati) November 16, 2023
Asked my 6th grade daughter what the school served for lunch today and she said soggy nachos with disgusting “Government meat” and just like that school lunch protein will never be called by another name.
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) November 17, 2023
I cussed in front of my teen daughter. I should’ve known this would be promptly reported to mom
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) October 28, 2023
What is the difference between dad jokes and the Spanish language?
With the Spanish language, you roll your R's. With Dad jokes, you roll your eyes.
— PUNS (@ThePunnyWorld) November 17, 2023
Mothers be like with 3 kids, 2 dogs and a job, I’ve 14 seconds of free time, I should get another dog
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) November 7, 2023
Marriage is so much fun. Like earlier today, I asked my wife how her morning was going so far and she said “I’ll let you know in a bit since you just opened your mouth.”
— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) November 15, 2023
me: *talking about how to get out of boring work meetings*
9yo: that’s easy daddy just tell your boss you need to go to the bathroom or you’re gonna pee your pants
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) November 11, 2023
Page 1 of every instruction manual should just say "YouTube it."
— Dan Regan (@DanRegan_Comedy) November 16, 2023
My son caught me kicking crumbs under the fridge. I had to bribe him with ice cream, so he didn't tell mom. This wasn't in the parenting books.
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) November 15, 2023