Welcome to the latest installment of the week’s funniest dad memes and tweets.
Grab a seat and enjoy this collection of dad jokes, puns, memes, and rants from some funny AF dads.
***
On the next "Unsolved Mysteries" my wife and I investigate how there aren't enough hangers for the clothes we washed when they were on hangers before we wore them.
— Dan Regan (@DanRegan_Comedy) July 25, 2023
My 11 y/o daughter got a saxophone for middle school band and within minutes of bringing it home she’s already “in a band” with her sister and when I tell them to play in another room, I’m “killing the vibe, man.” Musicians are so eccentric.
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) July 25, 2023
Well, that was stupid.
– me, after going outside
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) July 27, 2023
Calm down. Halloween isn’t for another 97 days you weirdos.
— Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) July 26, 2023
I asked my teenager to make cauliflower for dinner. He’s taken 16 minutes to cut it up and asked me 13 questions so far.
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) July 28, 2023
If you want to see miracles in your married life then talk to you husband 1% of the way you talk to your dog
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) July 27, 2023
My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it.
So I did.
We had a few drinks, pretty cool guy, said he works in web design.
— PUNS (@ThePunnyWorld) July 28, 2023
Today a firetruck roared past us while we were driving and my 7 year-old son said "I wish I was a fireman" and I said so you can save people and he said "no, so i can honk at everyone and they cant get mad"
— 🍁Graham Kritzer (@GrahamKritzer) July 27, 2023
My 10yo just walked in and asked me what I like about myself and damn I wasn’t ready to be put on the spot like this
— Dad Pickup Line (@dadpickupline) July 27, 2023
I try my best to entertain my kids but I’ll never be able to compete with a neighbourhood squirrel eating an apple
— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) July 26, 2023
In a way, I’m glad my kid is grumpy in the morning, because the alternative would be that she’s talkative
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) July 27, 2023
Last month: watched my father-in-law enthusiastically talk a dollar off a George Foreman grill at a yard sale.
This month: watched my brother-in-law unenthusiastically get the grill for his birthday.
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) July 27, 2023
me: sorry guys, your brother (14) is sick so we had to cancel your friends spending the night
8: [cries] can't you just make him go away somewhere else!
well at least i know who won't have a job in hospitality.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) July 27, 2023
*****
0 comments on “35 Funniest Dad Jokes + Memes This Week”