Welcome to the latest installment of the week’s funniest mom memes and tweets.
Sit down and enjoy this collection of dad jokes, puns, memes, and rants from some funny AF dads.
Shopping with my frustrated 11 y/o daughter because she can’t think of what to get me for Christmas when she sees me linger in front of one particular item a little too long and says, “Daddy, this is important, just give me your credit card and walk away slowly.”
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) December 20, 2022
I sneezed this morning and feel like I pulled a muscle so I guess I’m “at that age now.”
— Dad Named Matt 🇺🇸 (@mahnamematt) December 22, 2022
Joke’s on you, Apple Watch. I only stood up to get a snack.
— Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) December 21, 2022
My 5yo said he needs to be really good for Santa and when I asked if he’s going to be good for mommy and daddy as well he said “nope, just Santa!”
— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) December 22, 2022
7YO wants Santa to believe that we’re a healthy family, so this year instead of cookies she’s requesting we leave him a bowl of air fried cauliflower
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) December 22, 2022
Me: My Apple Watch said I hit my exercise goal while I was peeing.
Wife: You should probably-
Me: I should probably have my prostate checked.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) December 21, 2022
Liquor store cashier: You must be hosting a Christmas party
Me, with a full cart: Yeah that’s it, a Christmas party
— Mike (@Parentpains) December 13, 2022
Yesterday my son watched me pour fabric softener into the washing machine and then said "Laundry milk, daddy". And I stood there and was like "Jesus Christ that is adorable" because he's right, it is Laundry milk. My son is 36 years-old please someone get him a job
— 🍁Yukon Cornelius (@GrahamKritzer) December 20, 2022
we've entered the time where i can't go into the kitchen to get something to eat without my wife yelling "those are for christmas!!" so i guess i'll starve for the next 3 days.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) December 22, 2022
It’ll be arctic cold here this weekend, so naturally my teen daughter will be wearing a crop top and shorts and complaining that she’s cold
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) December 22, 2022
My wife is going to love what I got her for Christmas because I put some thought into it, and I didn't deviate from the list she emailed and texted me.
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) December 22, 2022
My wife getting sick of me singing “Merry Christmas and Happy Honda Days,” so time to teach it to the kids
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) December 22, 2022
What’s the best present you can gift?
A broken drum.
Nobody can beat that.
— PUNS (@ThePunnyWorld) December 22, 2022