Welcome to the latest installment of the week’s funniest dad memes and tweets.
Grab a seat and enjoy this collection of dad jokes, puns, memes, and rants from some funny AF dads.
Chick-fil-A has a cauliflower sandwich that probably tastes like disappointment every day of the week except Sunday.
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) February 9, 2023
Whenever my daughter starts a sentence with “I saw this Tik Tok that said…”, I know I’m in for some sound advice
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) February 9, 2023
If you give your kid a roll of tape today then you should expect you’ll need to buy more tape tomorrow
— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) February 8, 2023
9 was telling me about his pokemon cards he got today that he said are from "the year nineteen-hundred and ninety-two" and then I threw him through the wall for talking to me like that.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) February 10, 2023
When I was your age we didn't have a 'save' option for games so we had to pause Nintendo and leave it on all night and it would burn a hole clean through the floor to Australia and you needed welding gloves to touch it
— 🍁Yukon Cornelius (@GrahamKritzer) February 7, 2023
You can take the awkwardness out of any situation, if you just throw yourself down the stairs.
— Mike (@Parentpains) February 9, 2023
It’s been a while, can we talk about Bruno?
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) February 10, 2023
As the father of a 9yo boy, I am on the cutting edge of hip slang. Today he described a situation at school as “dusty,” meaning sad or emotional. Telling you this now so when your kid says something is “dusty” you can reply “no cap…no cap.”
— Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) February 9, 2023
Me: I spent HALF as much as YOU usually do on groceries.
[2 hours later]
Me: We have nothing to eat in this house.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) February 10, 2023
I hate my job.
All I do is crush cans all day.
— PUNS (@ThePunnyWorld) February 9, 2023
Came inside from a run and my 12 y/o daughter told me I was going to lose my hearing because my headphones were too loud, then I told her she didn’t understand me and slammed my bedroom door so her transformation into her Grandma could be complete.
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) February 5, 2023
I have a masters degree yet I can’t explain how my 4yo son sat on the potty & peed perfectly thru the crack btwn the bowl & toilet seat hitting the opposing wall
— Dad Set Against (@DadSetAgainst) February 9, 2023
My favorite part of working from home with a toddler is watching the life lessons she learns along the way. Today’s lesson? Don’t kick wood furniture
— Dad Pickup Line (@dadpickupline) February 6, 2023
Masters degrees were invented so spouses could remind you of them every time you make a tiny mistake
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) February 7, 2023
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