Welcome to the latest installment of the week’s funniest dad memes and tweets.
Grab a seat and enjoy this collection of dad jokes, puns, memes, and rants from some funny AF dads.
I said "Forty years ago in the 80s" and instantly lost a little bit of cartilage in my knee.
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) April 26, 2023
My daughter wanted to know what I was protesting when I used to burn cds and someone just go ahead and take me to the nursing home
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) April 25, 2023
I used to think parenting would involve saying lots of inspiring things to my kids but instead my 6yo has me saying “stop throwing wolves at me”
— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) April 27, 2023
My 5yo just caught me sneaking a cookie before dinner and she said if I shared it with her she wouldn’t tell Mommy. Idk whether to be frightened or impressed…
— Dad Pickup Line (@dadpickupline) April 26, 2023
this dude just introduced himself on a work call and said he had a "30 month old". so we're not gonna be friends.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) April 26, 2023
People who specialize in claw machine hacks could pull off elaborate casino heists but they just want a Minion.
— Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) April 24, 2023
If you are watching an R-rated movie, there’s a 96% chance your kid will walk in during the sex scene
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) April 27, 2023
Why do horses have low divorce rates?
They have stable relationships.
— PUNS (@ThePunnyWorld) April 27, 2023
Me [raising hand during Vatican tour]: What’s your wifi password?
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) April 28, 2023
Lional Richie let the world know that he played no active role in raising babies or toddlers when he released the song, “Easy Like Sunday morning.”
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) April 16, 2023
Kids bedtime is the Whac-A-Mole of parenting world
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) April 28, 2023
My guacamole dip, two seconds after being exposed to air pic.twitter.com/xzgtAb1I1M
— 🍁Graham Kritzer (@GrahamKritzer) April 24, 2023
5yo pointed at my shirt and told me I had something there then proceeded to give me a Mike Tyson level uppercut telling me “fooled you fooled you!” now I’m pissed.
— Dad Named Matt 🇺🇸 (@mahnamematt) April 24, 2023