Welcome to the latest installment of the week’s funniest dad memes and tweets.
Grab a seat and enjoy this collection of dad jokes, puns, memes, and rants from some funny AF dads.
[10 and 8 in the backseat of the car annoying each other]
Me: Keep your HANDS to YOURSELF. It's even a rule in adult life.
8: Well how come you and mommy break the rules?
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) July 6, 2023
I’m never more jealous of my kids than when they get up, do something, and fall right back to sleep.
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) July 4, 2023
Sorry kids I missed your childhood I was trying to figure out which app to use to seek validation from strangers
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) July 6, 2023
One day you’re a hot young couple and the next you’re discussing what type of bird pooped in your backyard
— Dad Pickup Line (@dadpickupline) July 7, 2023
When im finally CEO of pizza my first order of business will be to rename it Chicago deep dish lasagna
— 🍁Graham Kritzer (@GrahamKritzer) July 5, 2023
I saw one of my kid's teachers at Target with his family and I was lowkey mad he didn't live the life I imagined he had outside of school
— Chris Illuminati (@chrisilluminati) July 6, 2023
Day one on vacation: 5yo woke up crying, running fever, complaining about his ear hurting, so this vacation is off to a flying start.
— Dad Named Matt 🇺🇸 (@mahnamematt) July 3, 2023
My teen daughter wants me to “hurry up” getting ready to go somewhere and ain’t this some karma
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) July 6, 2023
If I ordered an axe from France and had it shipped,
I would have a foreign axe sent
— PUNS (@ThePunnyWorld) June 23, 2023
Tonight my 6yo had his soccer game and I was really impressed by his level of focus. If only he could channel that energy into focusing on the soccer ball instead of a dragonfly. If only…
— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) July 5, 2023
Me: I try to avoid working out while on vacation.
Also me: [lugs seven beach chairs, five umbrellas, a cooler, a bag containing snacks and 13 bottles of sunscreen, and a cornhole set down a half-mile down to the beach through eight inches of soft sand]
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) July 6, 2023
Like a lot of micro brew aficionados, I choose my beer based solely on how cool the tap handle looks.
— Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) July 2, 2023
Took my 11 y/o out to spend some of her babysitting money and she sighed, “I thought ice cream would taste different with my own money. It tastes the same.” Welcome to the working world, kid.
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) July 7, 2023
me: It’s important to tell your parents everything.
my 8yo: when mommy woke up this morning she looked 100 years old.
me: whatever you do don’t tell her that.
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) July 5, 2023
Getting older is making sure your arm is in a certain position before going to bed so you have full use of it the next day.
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) July 6, 2023