Welcome to the latest installment of the week’s funniest mom memes and tweets.
Sit down and enjoy this collection of dad jokes, puns, memes, and rants from some funny AF dads.
Out of all seven of the deadly sins, I would have to say, sloth, is by far the most adorable
— Crockett🍀 (@CrockettForReal) January 5, 2023
How do I tell all the apps on my phone that I already bought the thing they're showing me 100 ads for, so please stop showing me those ads?
— Chris Illuminati (@chrisilluminati) January 5, 2023
My daughter resolved to learn Spanish this year and when I asked her why she said so she can speak to her new classmate from Guatemala and make her feel welcome and maybe some of our “leaders” need to go back to 5th grade for a lesson or two.
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) January 2, 2023
waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) January 5, 2023
Just texted my kids upstairs to quiet down because I want quiet, but I'm too lazy to do anything significant about it.
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) January 5, 2023
Doctor said I could lose hearing when I grow old and after listening to my kids argue I don’t think I’ve ever looked forward to something so much
— Mike (@Parentpains) January 4, 2023
my 6 year-old: Did Jesus eat meatloaf?
the cashier at Kohl's: what
— 🍁Yukon Cornelius (@GrahamKritzer) January 4, 2023
the christmas decorations are down and the house is all cozy with seasonal depression now
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) January 5, 2023
I’ve worked hard to establish open and honest communication with my 5yo so that he knows he can always tell me anything and it’s nice to see that hard work pay off when he says “daddy, I don’t like your shirt”
— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) January 5, 2023
My daughter cut her finger and mom was busy so she came to me to ask for help. You’ve never seen a more distrusting face.
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) January 5, 2023
You're minding your own business and one day bam, coleslaw tastes good.
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) January 6, 2023
January 5th Update: I’m still tired from staying up until midnight on New Year’s Eve.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) January 5, 2023
[Walks into bookstore]
Me: Do you have any books on turtles?
Worker: Hard back?
Me: Yeah, with little heads.
— PUNS (@ThePunnyWorld) January 4, 2023
Fine I’ll compromise. You can keep your decorations up through the rest of the week but you can’t turn them on. Deal?
— Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) January 4, 2023
I know my 4yo found the gallon of ice cream I bought because I heard him yell across the house “YES WE GOT A FULL TANK OF ICE CREAM!!”
— Dad Named Matt 🇺🇸 (@mahnamematt) January 3, 2023