Welcome to the latest installment of the week’s funniest mom memes and tweets.
Sit down and enjoy this collection of dad jokes, puns, memes, and rants from some funny AF dads.
My 12 y/o daughter is dealing with two of her best friends fighting so I asked her to tell me the issue and all she said was that she doesn’t understand “girl drama” so I used this as a fathering moment, dug deep inside, patted her on the head and said, “that makes two of us.”
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) December 29, 2022
my broke ass thought this was a 57 dollar bill pic.twitter.com/NAuuNMSVRZ
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) December 23, 2022
Just went to Rite Aid and the Christmas candy wasn't marked down at all. What's the opposite of a Christmas miracle? That's what my kids and I just witnessed.
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) December 26, 2022
Here's how I know my parents are getting old – my dad called to tell me "some kid" drove his car through a building in my old neighborhood.
The driver was 72
— Chris Illuminati (@chrisilluminati) December 29, 2022
Sometimes you have to go that extra mile, just to make sure people can't see you staring in their window with a telescope.
— Mike (@Parentpains) December 28, 2022
[on my deathbed]
Priest: does anyone wish to say any words
My kids: Dad, where are the iPad chargers?
— 🍁Yukon Cornelius (@GrahamKritzer) December 23, 2022
Anyone else just eating 45,000 calories a day because you have no idea what's going on anymore since Christmas? Ok good not just me.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) December 28, 2022
When my wife came home I hid under a blanket and my quick thinking 5yo said to her “That’s not daddy under the blanket. That’s just a big lump.”
— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) December 28, 2022
The weather guy said we may need a raincoat for New Year’s Eve like I’m actually going anywhere
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) December 29, 2022
According to this step tracker app I took 2,438 steps today trying to avoid talking to people.
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) December 30, 2022
The worst part about being on break with the kids is looking at the clock to see if it's almost their bedtime and discovering it's only 8 AM.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) December 30, 2022
What’s a sea monster’s favorite food?
Fish and ships.
— PUNS (@ThePunnyWorld) December 29, 2022
Me: *just wakes up*
Apple Watch: Relax. Take a moment. Breathe.
— Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) December 27, 2022
I sneezed this morning and feel like I pulled a muscle so I guess I’m “at that age now.”
— Dad Named Matt 🇺🇸 (@mahnamematt) December 22, 2022
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