Welcome to the latest installment of the week’s funniest mom memes and tweets.
Sit right down and enjoy this collection of dad jokes, puns, memes, and rants from some funny AF dads.
Me: sshhh…they're right outside the door
My 6 year-old son: DAD THE WIFI IS DOWN. DAD. DAD DAAAAD
— 🍁Yukon Cornelius (@GrahamKritzer) December 9, 2022
me: [opening a christmas card in the mail] wtf i don't know these people
wife: [looks] that's our NEIGHBORS dumbass
me: [crushes picture and whispers] rival dad.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) December 8, 2022
I fell asleep in my chair after dinner and now I’m on the heating pad. Ultimate dad level unlocked!
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) December 9, 2022
When we bring a Christmas tree into the house I wonder if our dog is thinking we're finally installing a bathroom for him.
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) December 8, 2022
Someone suggested I put Fireball Whiskey in my eggnog. I just tried it and, long story short, how do you nominate someone for a Nobel Peace Prize?
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) December 8, 2022
Doctor: What were you doing when you got hurt?
Doctor: I see that a lot with people your age
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) December 7, 2022
What do Santa's elves listen to whilst they work?
— PUNS (@ThePunnyWorld) December 9, 2022
I wouldn’t say my 5yo is overly dramatic but whenever I play trains with him it only takes a couple of minutes before he brings in an emergency vehicle to save everyone
— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) December 9, 2022
Not to brag but I can tell by the weight of the bag if my Taco Bell order is correct.
— Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) December 7, 2022
My wife’s love language is leave her the fuck alone after she’s been home with the kids all day.
— Dad Named Matt 🇺🇸 (@mahnamematt) December 6, 2022
Overheard my 11 y/o daughter record her voicemail greeting: “Hi, you’ve reached my voicemail. When you hear the beep, hang up and send me a text.” This generation gets it.
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) December 6, 2022
Marriage is about being a good listener, making compromises, remaining committed, and hoping they don’t suffocate you in your sleep
— Mike (@Parentpains) December 7, 2022
I’m keeping the romance alive by gift wrapping my wife’s Christmas present that she ordered from Amazon
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) December 8, 2022