Welcome to the latest installment of the week’s funniest dad memes and tweets.
Grab a seat and enjoy this collection of dad jokes, puns, memes, and rants from some funny AF dads.
My wife didn't get a delivery today so I had to see if Amazon was on strike.
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) April 14, 2023
A Zoom filter that makes you look totally stoked to be on a Zoom meeting.
— Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) April 13, 2023
I told my son to do something, and said, "no, you're wrong". Then, his brother told him the exact same thing and he did it.
Is this the new normal? I hate it.
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) April 11, 2023
I once swallowed a book of synonyms.
It’s given me thesaurus throat I’ve ever had.
— PUNS (@ThePunnyWorld) April 14, 2023
Me: [trying to put on pants]
Apple Watch: Would you like to log this workout?
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) April 13, 2023
8yo asked what I was singing, told her it was a country song & she said ‘cool, which country’
— Dad Set Against (@DadSetAgainst) April 13, 2023
My 13 y/o daughter told me that a boy in class kept yelling out “Your Mom” to the math teacher to answer his questions so the teacher stopped class, called his mom and made the boy apologize. This dude can teach algebra and life lessons at the same time.
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) April 10, 2023
Things which last only three days
3. Avocados
2. Bananas
1. My kid’s new shoes— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) April 12, 2023
When you like your neighbors but fucking hate their dog
— Chris Illuminati (@chrisilluminati) April 13, 2023
Being a dentist is a sweet gig. Your Hygienist does all the work and then you come in for 1/10th of a second and go 'you should probably floss' and then like $5,000 is deposited into your account. just really wild stuff
— 🍁Graham Kritzer (@GrahamKritzer) April 12, 2023
my kid asked me why i treated one of his brothers better than him. looking into his tear filled eyes i gently cupped his face with my hands and got eye level with him and told him "oh son, it's because you're the worst one."
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) April 13, 2023
My wife will come home and be like ‘Carol from the office said the most insightful thing’ and then tell me something I’ve been trying to tell her for 7 years.
— Dad Pickup Line (@dadpickupline) April 11, 2023
My 6yo told me that if I bought him a night light that can change colour he'd start sleeping in his bed instead of mine. So, of course, I decided to buy it.
In a totally unrelated story, I now have a multicolour night light in my room.
— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) April 14, 2023
My kid doesn’t like donuts, so we’ve ordered a 23andMe kit to make sure she’s ours
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) April 13, 2023
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