Welcome to the latest installment of the funniest dad memes and tweets of the week.
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Sit right down and enjoy this collection of dad jokes, puns, memes, and rants from some funny AF dads.
My 6-year-old: What's the difference between a barracuda & a shark?
Me: When a barracuda is near, you'll hear a guitar riff. When it's a shark, you'll hear a tuba.
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) September 22, 2022
I put together a new Hot Wheels set with my 5yo and he said he was so excited that he might start crying! It was so cute that he thought it was for him.
— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) September 22, 2022
Who needs hard drugs when I can just buy alcohol from this one lady at the store who always cards me.
HUGE ENDORPHIN RELEASE every time
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) September 22, 2022
one day a man reaches a certain age and he makes his final decision on a hair style and keeps it forever.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) September 16, 2022
Remember when we found out that a dork was a whale penis and what an unexpected turn of events that was?
— Crockett🍀 (@CrockettForReal) September 22, 2022
Rosetta Stone, but it’s my kids speaking British English after watching too much Peppa Pig.
— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) September 20, 2022
kid’s birthday party: oooh I gotta think of the perfect gift
adult’s birthday party: oooh I gotta think of the perfect excuse not to go
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) September 22, 2022
Answering all my emails with what are you a cop
— Mike (@Parentpains) September 19, 2022
It's the first day of Fall, so make sure you have a pumpkin spice product with you at all times because the police are really cracking down this year.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) September 23, 2022
Went out to dinner and my daughter ordered the Spicy Italian pasta claiming, “I can handle Spicy Cheetos, let’s do this” like some kind of 5th grade Guy Fieri.
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) September 23, 2022
Last night at dinner my 6 year-old asked me what the most dangerous shark was and I said 'The Loan Shark' so naturally I received an email from his teacher this morning.
— 🍁Yukon Gold (@GrahamKritzer) September 21, 2022
not to brag, but my car goes from zero to spilled groceries in under two seconds
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) September 22, 2022
Serving sizes were created by elves.
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) September 23, 2022
7YO: Can I get a snack?
Me: Are you feeling hungry?
7YO: You don’t need to be hungry to eat a cookie!
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) September 22, 2022