Opinion

Lies I Refuse To Tell Myself Now That I’m A 30-Something Mom

Im in my 30s. Like, Im INTO them. Im not scratching the surface, and the novelty of turning 30 wore off long ago.

Im not upset about it. In fact, I am fully embracing the second third of my life.

It is with that spirit that I can say that Im done with all the pretending.

As a woman up to her knees in her 30s, I hereby announce the following:

I will no longer pretend that Im young

Age really is relative, isnt it? No matter how many 80-year-olds point a finger at me and proclaim, YOUTH, there need only be one 20-something to remind me that Im pretty much ancient. Go hang out with someone fresh out of college if you doubt me. Theyll be like, Lets do shots! and youll be all, Ugh, just a half a glass of wine, please, thats all I can handle tonight.

I will no longer pretend that I have to have a crummy job to get ahead.

When you are 23, working long hours in a job you only tolerate is OK because you have your entire life ahead of you. But now? Now, I wont settle for anything less than This makes me happy. If it doesnt give me a work-life balance, decent pay and managers who know what they are doing, then Im out.

I will no longer pretend that those pants fit

They dont, and they look ridiculous on me. Next size up, here I come. Maybe two sizes up so I can eat a bucket of fried chicken while I enjoy the $&%* out of my new pants.

I will no longer pretend that the little things matter

No, its really not the little things. If you screw up the big things, then the little things dont mean anything. Make the big stuff count. If I can get to the little things, I do it, but I dont beat myself up if I cant. Being a mom taught me that. I feed, clothe, shelter and hug my children. If I can make moments special, I do, but I learned that any moment can be special without the fanfare of organic food, over-the-top birthday parties and expensive toys.

I will no longer pretend that love should be easy

Pretty much every movie we ever saw lied to us. Happy endings take a lot of work. Marriage is hard, parenting is hard, having adult siblings with adult problems is hard, maintaining friendships over hundreds of miles is hard. Yes, I should be able to pick up the phone and call someone, but life quickly gets in the way. If Im going to love people, Im going to have to make an effort. Take the road trip, spend the money, book the date, make the call.

I will no longer pretend to know everything

I used to nod along and offer up tidbits in conversations that maybe Id heard from someone else. I was terrified to admit that I didnt know something. I was even more terrified that something I believed was wrong. Not anymore. I ask the questions. I admit Im wrong (well, sometimes). And I publicly embarrass myself by saying things like, Well, I dont really know much about David Bowie.

I will no longer pretend that Im OK when Im not

Maybe it was the way I was raised, or my pride, but I used to have a hard time saying, Im not doing well. Now, Im ready to scream it. When I need a break from the kids or time off work, Im taking it. No apologies.

I will no longer pretend that other peoples opinion of me defines me

I cant help it if you dont like me, my writing, my beliefs, my face, my body. Also, I dont care if you dont. This is me, and in my 30s, Im the best version of myself I have ever been. I dont need you to like me, because I finally like me.

Heres to this decade of my life: May it be filled with laughter, love and the knowledge that its not all downhill from here unless I let it be.

Kate Meier has two kids and zero tolerance for people who criticize parents for bullshit reasons. Go enjoy her sarcastic sense of humor at her blog,My Kind of Parenting, orhereon Facebook.

Click formore funny parenting adviceand follow me onFACEBOOK,TWITTER,INSTAGRAMor get occasionalEMAILSabout all my stuff.

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