Dad Life

Parents Share Meanest Things Kids Have Said To Them


There are thousands of ways that a person’s life changes after having a baby.

Some changes are good. Some are not so great.

One thing that does change is a parent develops an incredibly thick skin, especially when dealing with kids with zero filters.

Kids not only say the darndest things, they say the meanest things too.

I recently posted a note about the meanest thing my daughter said (this week) and asked readers to share hurtful comments their kids have made (that they probably didn’t mean).

Here are the best of the worst and some of the meanest things kids have said to their parents.

Meanest Things Kids Have Said


Me: “When you grow up you can be just like Mommy.”
6-year-old daughter: “Fat?”

Playing catch football with my 7-year-old nephew: “If you weren’t so old you could have caught that.” When I asked what he said he yells “I SAID IF YOU WEREN’T OLD YOU COULD HAVE CAUGHT THE BALL”

Two years ago, my daughter told me, “I’d promise anything for when you get old because you’ll be too old to remember my promises, anyway.”

“I love daddy more than you. I love him 1 million. I love you 100.”

“Mommy, I hate you, you are so mean I wish you would die.” This was because I wouldn’t make my 6-year-old lunch at 8:45 in the morning.

“Can you please turn the music up so I don’t have to hear you sing?”

When sharing the amazingness that is The Goonies with my kids, my 5-year old informed me that I “could do the Truffle Shuffle because I have a jelly-belly like Chunk.”

“When you and dad are in the nursing home, I’ll make sure you have matching tracksuits.”

“Mom, I’m done talking to you.”

5-year-old at bedtime: “You’re a stupid poopy face.”
Me: “Yeah well this stupid poopy face is now going to eat your Halloween candy for calling me a stupid poopy face which is swearing. And extra candy for fighting me at bedtime.”
5-year-old: “What?”
Me: *shoves chocolate in mouth* “What?”

4-year-old: “Is tomorrow a Daddy day?
Me: “No, I’m off tomorrow and Daddy works so you get to spend the day with me!”
4-year-old: “Mmmmmm no thanks.”

“I don’t mean old like nana old…I mean old like you. And a little less fat.” – 4-year-old

“I don’t love you. Well, I do I just don’t want to say it all the time.” – 4-year-old

“I’m going to draw a picture of you. I’m starting with your big head.”

“Why’s your tummy so big?”

ME: “Goodnight baby girl. I love you!”
4-year-old: “I’m sure you do, but I love Daddy.”

“Your tummy is very squishy.”

“I am happier at school than at home.”

“Aunty Roxy, why are your boobies all the way down there.”

“Can you have Daddy check my math homework, he’s smarter than you.”

“My 3-year-old came home from preschool one day (around Mother’s Day) with a handmade keychain that says ‘#1 mom’. She gave it to me and said “I really like it. Can I have it back when you die?”


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Chris Illuminati is a freelance writer and published author. Follow him on Twitter (@chrisilluminati), Instagram (@messagewithabottle) or email him at

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