This Meatballs With White Beans Recipe Is My Go-To When I Just Don’t Know What The Hell To Make

You always remember your first. I remember my first. I was 18, on a cruise, and she…

Oh, wait. This article is about a recipe.

This meatballs with white beans recipes was my first attempt at making dinner for the family. I found the recipe in a men’s fitness magazine and thought “this sounds good” and “this sounds impossible to screw up”. I was correct on both assumptions. This meatball with white beans recipe is delicious and virtually impossible to screw up. Unless you can’t read. If you can’t read you’re an idiot and you can’t get offended because you didn’t read what I just said.

I ripped the recipe out of a magazine and said to the Permanent Roommate “I want to make this” and she was all “awww you’re ripping out recipes” and it sounded emasculating me so I did 100 pushups on the kitchen counter. It turns out she really did think it was adorable. The pushups, however, made me look crazy.

Here is the meatballs with white beans recipe that will make people think you can cook and read.

Meatballs With White Beans


32 oz. bag of frozen meatballs
1 15 oz. can of white navy beans (drained and rinsed)
4 cups of beef broth
1 cup chopped onion
1/2 cup chopped parsley
1 cup of chopped carrots
1 cup of instant brown rice
1 handful of swiss chard or kale
1 sprig of thyme
salt and pepper

Instructions: Add all ingredients to slow cooker and cook on low for about 6-7 hours. Feel free to do pushups on the counter while you wait for it to finish.


Feel free to experiment with your own meatballs. The Permanent Roommate makes great meatballs. One time she made double the normal batch, froze them, and we used them in this recipe.

Occasionally we’ll use turkey meatballs because we try to stay healthy and because screw those turkeys. They deserve to die and get rolled up in meatball form. I’m sorry. A turkey mugged me in college. I still hold a grudge.

Kale works well but Swiss chard gives the recipe a little more bite. Speaking of bite, that girl on the cruise, she did this thing where…FINE, FINE, BACK TO MEATBALLS! Prudes.

This is a meal that tastes good the first day but eats even better a few days later. I recommend making it and freezing it for another meal. I also recommend going on cruises.

I prefer brown rice but you can use white instead. It’s your crock pot. I’m not the boss of your life.


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