Parenting Notes #631-635

This week, the air conditioner saves my sanity, we discuss the local pool, my fashion choices have changed over the years, and my oldest is sensitive about soccer balls.

But before all that!

Let’s see if there’s some stuff you might have missed such as:

• Parenting Notes #615-620
• Parenting Notes #621-625
• Parenting Notes #626-630
• A Physician Explains The Reason Kids Constantly Asks, “Why?”

Now that we’ve covered all that, and you’ve subscribed to the website via EMAIL, or followed me on FACEBOOK, TWITTER, and INSTAGRAM, we can get to this week’s notes.

I’m glad we had this talk.

Now, the notes…

PARENTING NOTE #631

If anyone can figure out how to make a soccer ball look like a pile of dirt, they’ll be a millionaire.

PARENTING NOTE #632

If you ask them a question, expect a one-word answer.

If they have something to tell you, bring a pillow and pack a snack.?

PARENTING NOTE #633

A friend shared another tip when taking kids to the pool.

Don’t wear a bathing suit. Then you don’t have to go into the pool, and the kids will leave you alone all day.

I love other parents. I feel like less of a jerk every time I talk to one.

PARENTING NOTE #634

I will also settle for “only slightly embarrassing to my children.” ?

PARENTING NOTE #635

Yes, that’s my air conditioner. It’s original to my apartment and helped cool off Moses after his trek through the desert.

It’s loud. Incredibly loud. So loud it drowned out the sound of a car crashing through a storage unit in the front parking lot.

Did you hear that? The Kid asks, emerging from his bedroom facing the front of the building.

Hear what?

The AC is running. The oven is cooking dinner. The youngest has the TV on loud enough to be heard over the air conditioner/jet engine.

He describes the sound of an accident, complete with a loud screech and a crash.

We look out the window, see nothing.

Step out onto the porch, still nothing.

Maybe it was the oven door, I explain, it sometimes makes a screeching noise and slams shut.

He wasn’t convinced, but we both forgot all about the commotion.

The following morning, climbing into the car, a neighbor pointed out the accident.

Another neighbor pulled into the carport too fast, crashed right into his storage doors, and took out the tail end of a motorcycle in the process the front bumper dangling like a baby tooth lose from the gums.

The Kid and I look at one another.

His face saying “See! I did hear a crash!” While mine said, “So you CAN hear me when I’m asking you to do something a hundred times!”

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