Last night I didn’t eat chips before bed and I had a terrible sleep so the conclusion here is obvious.
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) January 22, 2025
You can’t hurt me, I have a teenager.
— Rachel (@RReynoldsAuthor) January 21, 2025
Imagine hating me and I’m just over here trying to find the ornament boxes so I can finally put the tree away.
— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) January 18, 2025
I know everything I need to know about you by the way you merge into traffic.
— your other mom (@difficultpatty) January 20, 2025
I never thought I’d get over Taco Bell removing mexi-nuggets from their menu but these new crispy chicken nuggets are a good start.
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) January 22, 2025
I drank my coffee black and now suddenly I’m backing into parking spots and shopping for a traeger
— Emily ™ (@emily_tweets) January 23, 2025
Daughter, who just learned the alternate meaning of the word *ho*: WHAT HAS SANTA BEEN TRYING TO SAY
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) January 22, 2025
If you’re in line for my kid to finish telling his story, stay in line
— meghan (@deloisivete) January 23, 2025
I don't win arguments, I just wear my opponent down.
— Darla (@ddsmidt) January 23, 2025
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