Welcome to the latest installment of the week’s funniest mom memes and tweets.
Enjoy this collection of mom jokes, puns, memes, and regular old rants from some funny-as-hell mommas.
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I slept like a baby last night. I woke up every hour and cried.
— Emma Beasley🐝 (@JustBeingEmma) January 3, 2024
January 1st emails from companies be like: Happy New Year! We are increasing your rates by 5%
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) January 2, 2024
how long are we allowed to say happy new years, we’re still working on our holiday card
— nika (@nikalamity) January 2, 2024
Kids are great because they say things like “My favorite finger is my thumb today” and you’re left wondering which one was the favorite before.
— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) January 1, 2024
2024 is your year to start replying to text messages in a timely manner. I just feel it.
— your other mom (@difficultpatty) January 2, 2024
Currently looking at different fitness apps while finishing off Christmas cookies.
New year, new me.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) January 3, 2024
‘New year new me’ I whisper as I polish off a brick of cheese and pray that this year I’m not still lactose intolerant.
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) January 1, 2024
You have to give your kid siblings. How else will they learn how to turn anything and everything into a weapon?
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) December 29, 2023
I'm on my third toddler and I still haven't learned that helping them will only incite their toddler rage.
— Raw Motherhood (@MetteAngerhofer) December 29, 2023
Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time
— meghan (@deloisivete) January 2, 2024
The worst date I ever had was with a guy who took me to his sister’s house & she talked to me about cleaning hacks.
I don’t remember his name but I think of her often. ❤️🧹🧼🧽🫧🧺
— Kelly (@kelly__le) December 30, 2023
Dry January but it’s just my skin thanks to the furnace being on
— Sam G (@ItsSamG) January 2, 2024
Girl, same. pic.twitter.com/Xf7OXvqzYa
— Helleanor Rigby (@Mom_Overboard) December 29, 2023
January 1 – I will wear lipstick every day this year. :puts on lipstick:
January 2 – leaves house without lipstick or earrings
January 3 – will probably forget pants
January 4 – find me wandering around naked in the Trader Joe's parking lot
— nice things I say to myself (@meantomyself) January 2, 2024
I never understood why you can’t go big AND go home.
— Leen McBeans ꪜ (@LeenMcBeans) January 1, 2024
Mom math is trying to figure out how to successfully cook three different frozen pizzas with different listed cooking times and oven temps at the same time without ruining any of them because nobody can agree on just one type of pizza.
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) January 3, 2024
Autocorrect changed “RSVP date” to “taco date” and I’m taking this as a sign of good things to come in 2024
— The Mom Hack (@TheMomHack) January 2, 2024
Husband: Where did the dried up Christmas tree go?
*flashback, to me throwing it into our neighbor’s yard*
Me: I have no idea.
— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) January 2, 2024
Yesterday my 5yo told my husband he never wanted to eat yogurt ever again. And my husband just believed him like some kind of rookie.
— Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) January 1, 2024
My 14yo told me she wanted a winter coat and I’ve never spent money so fast in my life.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) January 3, 2024
no, your email is not "finding me well" on january 2nd
— Sophie Vershbow (@svershbow) January 2, 2024
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