Welcome to the latest installment of the week’s funniest dad memes and tweets.
Grab a seat and enjoy this collection of dad jokes, puns, memes, and rants from some funny AF dads.
***
Why does this “Quick Setup Guide” have 24 steps?
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) December 28, 2023
*Overheard from the other room*
Teenager, talking to his friend online: Don't worry, that's just Joe
His friend: Joe who?
Teenager: Joe MAMA!
*cackles*Me: *Trips over ottoman running to high five him*
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) December 26, 2023
Did you hear about how people in Athens don't even wake up until noon?
They say dawn is pretty tough on Greece.
— PUNS (@ThePunnyWorld) December 27, 2023
I tried making my own Funko-Pop and just got told my big ass head already max sized
— Big, Bad Caffeinated Dad 🇳🇿 ☕ (@Cafeinated_Dad) December 20, 2023
A "Skip Intro" option but for when a child starts telling you a story.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) December 28, 2023
rival dad next door has already taken down all his outside christmas decorations. if he really wanted to flex though, he'd come and take down mine. idgaf.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) December 29, 2023
Little Drummer boy: I have no gifts to bring
Mary: thats ok
Little Drummer Boy: I am a poor boy too
Mary: it's fine
Jesus: [sleeping]
Little Drummer boy: gonna bang TF outta these drums
Joseph: if you wake him up i swear to christ
— 🍁Graham Kritzer (@GrahamKritzer) December 20, 2023
My kids are starting to think Santa is not real, cause he keeps bringing them math worksheets
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) December 27, 2023
(Setting boundaries for playing video games w/ the kids)
Wife: let’s put a hold on Mario Kart. There’s too much crying.
Me: tell the kids to stop picking Rainbow Road, and there’ll be less crying.
Wife: stop falling off Rainbow Road so much and maybe you’ll cry less!
— Michael Vogel (@MichaelVogel1) December 28, 2023
Both of my cars have seat warmers in them and I’ve never used them because I’m always hot but ladies and gentlemen my life changed this morning, my back feels incredible after my commute to work this morning.
— Dad Named Matt 🇺🇸 (@mahnamematt) December 28, 2023
Anyone else now look at New Year's day as a day off instead of New Year's Eve as a night to party?
— Dan Regan (@DanRegan_Comedy) December 28, 2023
That feeling when you’re done with your kids for the day but it’s a holiday and it’s 7:49 am.
— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) December 27, 2023
My kids got me a bottle of whiskey for Christmas and I'm not sure if my wife bought it or they have a shady connection that I can use for other stuff later
— Nostradadmus (@bigpoppadrunk) December 26, 2023
Not to brag, but I was alive when you could SLAM the phone down to hang up on someone. It was spectacular.
— Not Today Eric (@NotTodayEric) December 15, 2023
my 9yo: don’t you think church would be waaay better if they had a snack bar?
me:
me, later to my wife: don’t you think church would be waaay better if they had a snack bar?
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) December 27, 2023
Finished off a roll of wrapping paper so I bonked the nearest family member on the head with the tube because them’s the rules.
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) December 24, 2023
Since you hypocrites won't do it, I'll call him out…
Nobody flies private more than Santa
— Jason Not Evil (@JasonNotEvil) December 24, 2023
0 comments on “35 Funniest Dad Jokes + Memes This Week”