Welcome to the newest collection of the funniest mom memes and tweets.
Enjoy this collection of mom jokes, puns, memes, and regular old rants from some funny-as-hell mommas.
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If you don’t sing “woohoo” after hearing the word DuckTales, you’re too young for me
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) January 30, 2024
When you procrastinate getting on the scale it’s called weighting.
— your other mom (@difficultpatty) February 1, 2024
When you’ve been married for 25 years, if your husband says to you “come here, I want to show you something.” Don’t get too excited.
It’s just to look at an elaborate spreadsheet of your finances.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) February 1, 2024
8yo: at school, would you say ‘Mommy’s cool’ or ‘Mom’s cool’?
12yo:
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) January 28, 2024
Me: Do you have to breathe like that?
Husband: If I want to stay alive.
Me: pic.twitter.com/ECV321kS1N
— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) January 31, 2024
It's a law of nature that the more times your kid swears he won't lose his new pair of gloves, the more likely he will, in fact, lose the new gloves.
— Raw Motherhood (@MetteAngerhofer) January 11, 2024
I woke up early to get stuff done but then I did not get stuff done
– a memoir
— meghan (@deloisivete) January 31, 2024
I gave up the cream in my morning coffee because it's less fattening and leaves more room for the booze.
— Emma Beasley🐝 (@JustBeingEmma) January 25, 2024
So have any of you given these things called "books" a try? They're pretty dope
— Helleanor Rigby (@Mom_Overboard) January 30, 2024
You guys, do kids these days even KNOW what to do if they have a structured settlement but they need cash now???
— Leen McBeans ꪜ (@LeenMcBeans) January 28, 2024
Not to brag, but I finished an entire 3-pack of chapstick without losing a single one.
— Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) January 31, 2024
Slept in a tank top, woke up to my left titty out & about, already making coffee this morning.
— Kelly (@kelly__le) January 31, 2024
Just once I’d like to see my kid walk by a pile of rocks without picking one up to add to her collection.
— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) January 31, 2024
So I probably won’t find a nice man to marry at pickle ball but I did find lots of new friends to go mall walking and bird watching with
— Sam G (@ItsSamG) January 31, 2024
The best way to not snack late at night is to snack all day up to that point.
— Late to the party Laura (@ericamorecambe) February 1, 2024
My parents told me I could be anything I wanted so I became unacceptable
— inspector ratchet (@_hood_mona_lisa) January 31, 2024
Words you know are never true:
the I.T. Department saying “You’re all set.”
— nika (@nikalamity) January 30, 2024
Kids are wild because they openly mock our generation while brazenly stealing every single trend from our youth
— SpacedMom (@copymama) January 30, 2024
Robber: Give me all your cash ma'am
Me: Just take this cart and return it to the Aldi and you can have my quarter
— nice things I say to myself (@meantomyself) January 31, 2024
Every winter I think about summer and can't believe it's real. It just seems too good to be true.
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) January 31, 2024
If you have more than one kid, at least one will be a night owl and one will be an early bird.
If this isn’t a scientific fact I don’t want to know
— The Mom Hack (@TheMomHack) February 1, 2024
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