Just The Notes

My Co-Parenting Advice Is Pretty Simple – ‘Be The Bucket’

The ex and I realize we arent the norm.


The ex and I realize we aren’t the norm.

We know that other divorced couples are different because we hear the stories.

More than stories, we get the comments. People say you and your ex get along? That’s weird. or Every divorced couple I know hates one another.

Were considered weird because we don’t hate one another, use the kids against one another, fight over the same issues that sprung up in our marriage, talk bad about one another in front of the kids or other people, or do any of the mean things divorced couples do.

When people ask how it’s possible to remain after splitting, and how to co-parent, the answer is always the same.

We just got over shit.

That’s really it. Maybe neither of us forgot, but both of us forgave.

It took time. It took work. It took remembering all the things we like about one another.

We’re far from perfect. We still have disagreements. We still argue from time to time. It’s usually about the kids.

We get over it pretty quick because we understand were standing our ground in an attempt to do what we feel is best for our kids.

I realize in some cases getting along with a former spouse just isn’t possible. One or both individuals are impossible to deal with day in and day out.

He or she is willing to have the exact same fights, make the same awful, hurtful comments, and continue to make the other person’s life a living hell.

These reactions are done typically out of pain, spite, retribution, and ultimately heartbreak.

In some instances, a person is just a straight-up asshole.

As the expression goes, some people just want to see the world burn.

Whatever the situation, if you’re stuck co-parenting with a person intent on watching the world burn, try to be the massive bucket of water that keeps the flame from spreading.

Don’t take the bait.

Be the bigger person.

Turn the other cheek.

You’ll never change who they are, but you can change the way you react.

Be the bucket.

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