Happy Thanksgiving to all, and welcome to the latest installment of the week’s funniest mom memes and tweets.
Please enjoy this collection of mom jokes, puns, memes, and regular old rants from some funny-as-hell mommas.
My daughter told her dentist that, “Kidz Bop sucks because they take out all the bad words.” Silly me thinking it was going to be her infrequent flossing that embarrassed me today 🤦🏻♀️
— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) November 18, 2022
It gives me a lot of confidence to know I have a husband who loves me and a neighbor who would drive across town with me to buy furniture off a stranger.
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) November 23, 2022
I follow a mom on Instagram who has five boys just to see if she survives
— mean things I say to myself (@meantomyself) November 22, 2022
Done my part for Thanksgiving and bought the cranberry sauce. That was exhausting!
— 3 Wild Rainbows (@wildrainbow2) November 23, 2022
I asked my twins the best thing about turning 6 and my boy twin said “my hands growing bigger” and my girl twin said “I can drink wine now”
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) November 18, 2022
My super power is asking so many questions that you stop talking to me
— Tori (@ToriTheMom) November 23, 2022
Went for a short walk around the neighborhood and saw a truly impressive number of pizza deliveries in progress
— meghan (@deloisivete) November 24, 2022
In life there’s always one person who hates and does not understand math and one person who impatiently just *gEtS* it and they always get married and have kids that they have to explain math to and this is absolutely the for worse scenario
— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) November 8, 2022
I’m writing a fantasy fiction novel about a mom that has a cold and her family does things for themselves while she rests.
— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) November 23, 2022
When we play games together my kids don’t say “time out” they say “pause”.
— deathbecomesher (@JuliePeloquin14) November 20, 2022
We're talking about possible future baby names and I asked 5 for a suggestion and he said Jerry
— 🤷🏼♀️Mommeh Dearest🤦🏼♀️ (@mommeh_dearest) November 22, 2022
Yesterday I took my kids to the mall and 5 wanted to buy a $4 pen with her own money, so I let her. Immediately after handing the cashier exact change, she started to cry and said, ‘I want my money back.’
Her very first buyer’s remorse; what a milestone.
— Emily ™ (@emily_tweets) November 24, 2022
Don’t mind me, just dry humping this pillow and thinking of you.
— Mama•Is•Surviving (@MomOf2Happas) November 23, 2022
I don’t know if this is good parenting but we used Taco Bell to get our 3yo on a more convenient pooping schedule
— Science Mom 🔬 (@EmSlyce) November 17, 2022
9: mom which 1900s years were you born in?
9: you mean you 80s nuts in your mouth!???
9: it’s like ate-these nuts but you say it like 80s nuts
Me: YEAH NO I GOT IT
9: you’re so 1900s.
— Terri Fry (@momlikethat1) November 23, 2022
You know what goes well with planning Thanksgiving dinner for 36 people?
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) November 23, 2022
I need you to know that hahahaha and lol are not interchangeable so knock it off
— Mom Jeans (@momjeansplease) November 23, 2022
Shoutout to the fork that lives in the dessert pan. I couldn’t possibly have a full slice but I’m gonna take a bite or two everytime I pass. Cake Fork- you da real MVP
— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) November 23, 2022
im a fucken delight but you wouldn’t know it because im so tired and irritable all the time
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) November 20, 2022
1st glass of wine: Nice to meet you.
2nd glass of wine: We should totally get matching tattoos.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) November 23, 2022
I'm pretty sure that my husband wants a divorce. I mean he didn't say it but he left 1 square of toilet paper on the roll, so…
— KJ (@IDontSpeakWhine) November 1, 2022
Spent the last week cleaning and organizing my house for thanksgiving and now I don’t want to let the guests in because my house is clean and organized
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) November 23, 2022