Welcome to the latest installment of the week’s funniest mom memes and tweets.
Sit right down and enjoy this collection of dad jokes, puns, memes, and rants from some funny AF dads.
Crazy to me how 100 years ago if you had pneumonia your Grandma would make you a glass of honey, gin, morphine, raccoon piss, horseradish, and heroin and you drank it and you just died.
— 🍁Yukon Ghost (@GrahamKritzer) November 23, 2022
dog: [brings sticks inside]
me: no that belongs outside
me, at Christmas time: [brings entire tree inside]
dog: what the actual shit is this
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) November 25, 2022
I’ve eaten so many deviled eggs, I suddenly have an urge to go down to Georgia and try to steal a soul in a fiddle contest
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) November 24, 2022
Anyone else ever think about all of the time we missed out on swimming because our parents bought into the "wait 30 minutes after you eat" propaganda?
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) November 25, 2022
Today is the day we traditionally put the Christmas tree and outdoor lights up. A day the kids affectionately call, “Swear Day.”
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) November 25, 2022
Just told my kids “it’s 10:30. You’re wasting your entire vacation sleeping.”
So, yes, you do become your parents as you get older.
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) November 25, 2022
A truck loaded with Vicks Vaporub overturned on the highway.
Amazingly, there was no congestion for eight hours.
— PUNS (@ThePunnyWorld) November 25, 2022
My kid is angry at me because he lost his water bottle at school and I bought him a new one but he said I got the wrong one because it doesn’t look like the one his best friend has
— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) November 24, 2022
This is your annual reminder that Love Actually is absolute crap and garbage.
— Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) November 22, 2022
I wonder which one of my little germ factories gave me this stomach virus…
— Dad Named Matt 🇺🇸 (@mahnamematt) November 22, 2022
When you ask Grandma how she’s been and she tells the family she saw a boy who tried to kiss her in high school but she pushed him away because she didn’t want him to think she was easy and he “looks good for 80, maybe I should’ve let him,” that’s when Thanksgiving gets lit.
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) November 25, 2022
wife texted ‘any idea what row this car stuff would be in’ to which I replied ‘the one that looks like it has car stuff’ and THAT is how you choose your battles in marriage ladies and gents
— Dad Set Against (@DadSetAgainst) November 23, 2022
I keep it real
Also me: *Applies 7 filters to every photo before posting*
— Mike (@Parentpains) November 23, 2022
My Wife: Don’t look at your phone while driving
Also my wife when I’m driving: What do you think of these bar stools?
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) November 22, 2022
Taking bets on which one will end first, Twitter or the story my 6yo is currently telling me.
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) November 24, 2022