Welcome to the latest installment of the funniest mom memes and tweets of the week.
For some moms, summer break is in full swing. For others, the madness is looming on the horizon.
For all moms, it’s just about 65 more days until school starts again. But who’s counting?
Please enjoy this collection of mom jokes, puns, memes, and regular old rants from some funny ass mommas.
If I were to live tweet my family vacation, we’d see a decline a pregnancies.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) June 7, 2022
Everyone was tired and no one slept: a parenting memoir
— meghan (@deloisivete) June 9, 2022
Being a mom is holding 15 things and then having your kids ask can you hold this?
— @love.you.memeit (@LMemeit) June 8, 2022
Husband: I’m going for a jog. Do you want to come with me?
Me: Aww, that’s cute. Can you get me some Doritos on your way home?
— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) June 6, 2022
Nothing like waking up to your dog sprinting at you and landing directly on your vagina
— Deena Lang (@itsdeenalang) June 4, 2022
My oldest was always clingy and hated sleep. He would empty his closet: clothes, diapers, baby wipes, & books – into a pile on his bed so we were forced to come into his room.
Just wanted to share that toddlers are savage and know how to get what they want.
— Satirical Mommy (@SatiricalMommy) June 7, 2022
My obituary will say “She was MOMMY LOOKed to death”
— Mom Meh Dearest🤦🏼♀️ (@mommeh_dearest) June 8, 2022
My kid turns all his L’s into W’s
If you think I’m bragging, you aren’t wistening hard enough
— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) June 6, 2022
Take your kids to the ocean so they can repeatedly ask to swim in the hotel pool
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) June 3, 2022
McDonald’s forgot the chicken nuggets in my daughter’s happy meal and she said “well I guess this is a sad meal now”
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) June 7, 2022
I know how to cut up a mango
— Emily ™ (@emily_tweets) June 8, 2022
No one at all:
My 3yo: Mommy, when it's dark you look like a troll.
— 3 Wild Rainbows (@wildrainbow2) June 6, 2022
I’m just a mom, standing in front of her child, trying to convince them to go to the activity they convinced me to sign them up for.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) June 8, 2022
I mistakenly called my 7yo funny and now it’s like I’m living with a pint-sized stand up comedian with a brain injury
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) June 9, 2022
The only part of the Magic School Bus I have trouble with is that the parents don’t have to sign 8 permission slips two weeks before the field trips
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) June 8, 2022
I’m going to need some privacy while I parallel park
— Mom Jeans (@momjeansplease) June 9, 2022
I never feel like more of a hero than when I bring home some really exciting new junkfood from the grocery store and my kids go apeshit.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) June 7, 2022