Welcome to the latest installment of the funniest mom memes and tweets of the week.
Just a quick “please and thank you” request this week – please subscribe to my YouTube channel. I only need to hit 100 subscribers, and then I can change the URL to my website name and not have to tell people my YT channel URL is “UCFurvPT….”
Please enjoy this collection of mom jokes, puns, memes, and regular old rants from some funny-as-hell mommas.
No one prepared me for just how much I would worry about the safety of my children during everyday activities. Or how much they would actively try to hurt themselves doing everyday activities.
— Satirical Mommy (@SatiricalMommy) July 27, 2022
What happens when you ask your kid to go online and buy a lamp for their room?
This… this happens. pic.twitter.com/mMW6INAEko
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) July 23, 2022
Me: I Love you.
My 3yo: I like you too.
— 3 Wild Rainbows (@wildrainbow2) July 25, 2022
Someone explain to me why I pack for vacation like I'm a completely different human being…
WHO IS THIS FEDORA FOR?!?!
— Deena Lang (@itsdeenalang) July 26, 2022
My kids love taking turns, for example, they take turns pushing down the garbage so neither one of them has to take it out
— KJ (@IDontSpeakWhine) July 26, 2022
The house could be burning to the ground and my kid would say “let me just finish this page”
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) July 27, 2022
My husband sure says “you’re crazy” a lot for someone who chose to marry me.
— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) July 25, 2022
One time I went to a friends house and she offered me celery as a snack. Needless to say we aren’t friends anymore.
— Emily ™ (@emily_tweets) July 27, 2022
[getting speeding ticket]
me: *batting eyelashes* please don’t arrest me for bribery
cop: ma’am you offered me underseat fries
— eLeni (@eleniZarro) July 27, 2022
This wine tastes like I better hurry up and do my Tooth Fairy duties.
— Marissa 💚💛 (@michimama75) July 27, 2022
my son just called me “mum.” all these years of watching peppa pig have finally paid off
— 🦇 cella 🦇 (@cellapaz) July 23, 2022
78% of being a parent is creating new rules and never enforcing them.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) July 27, 2022
my body: we need water
me: someone say cheese?
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) July 23, 2022
5: Mom can boys wear mascara?
Me: Of course they can! Boys can wear makeup, girls can play with cars, people can do whatever they want in life.
5: But they can’t jump on the couch cause that’s not safe.
— @love.you.memeit (@LMemeit) July 27, 2022
Just pulled a big t-rex sticker off the back of my shirt, so don’t tell me I’m not the most stylish one in this planet fitness
— meghan (@deloisivete) July 27, 2022
People will straight up tell you they have three wonderful kids that they love equally but then get all bent out of shape when you tell them Cooper's the only cool one
— mean things I say to myself (@meantomyself) July 28, 2022
Burglar: *digging through my purse*
Husband: Let me know if you find the car keys.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) July 25, 2022
My kids will happily put nasty community pool water in their mouths but won’t even try mashed potatoes
— Melissa Gutierrez (@Fiveoclockmommy) July 27, 2022
It's so cute how my sons ignore me when I ask them to do something.
It's like they're little husbands in training.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) July 23, 2022
A useful pediatrician would have office hours from 7:30 pm to 4:30 am
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) July 27, 2022
there’s an event on the family calendar from 5:30-7:30am that just says “Nope.” so, either my husband messed up the time for a movie showing or we’re hardcore protesting our kids tomorrow morning
— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) July 27, 2022