Welcome to the latest installment of the funniest mom memes and tweets of the week.
Ran to Target yesterday. The Back to School section is already up.
Please enjoy this collection of mom jokes, puns, memes, and regular old rants from some funny ass mommas.
I let my 4yo order at the drive-thru. He ordered 10,000 Robux, a coke, and a wee wee. I’m sad to announce he did not get any of those
— Melissa Gutierrez (@Fiveoclockmommy) July 7, 2022
Kids everywhere: "You can have whichever one you want!"
Me: "I want the blue one."
Kids: "Not that one."
— Stay at Homies 🇺🇦 (@stayathomies) June 27, 2022
Almost took out an eye when my sports bra strap unhooked itself and now I can never return to this planet fitness
— meghan (@deloisivete) July 5, 2022
How much I hate hearing my voice on recordings really pales in comparison to how much I downright loathe seeing myself on video
— mean things I say to myself (@meantomyself) July 6, 2022
dear autoflush, i simply wasn’t ready: a memoir
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) July 6, 2022
Your choices as a parent are kids on devices or kids making a mess of epic proportions, there is no in between.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) July 5, 2022
“Mom, can you get me a snack?” asked the child, who was standing right next to their Dad.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) July 5, 2022
My kid being mad that he got a $5 bill instead of a quarter from the tooth fairy is exactly why we won’t ever win the war against children
— Mom Meh Dearest🤦🏼♀️ (@mommeh_dearest) July 6, 2022
4: I wanna watch Sing 2!
hubs: you’ve watched that a thousand times.
4: not today.
— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) July 6, 2022
Hoping they’ll teach my kid to flush the toilet in college because there are no indications that he’ll figure it out before then
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) July 6, 2022
You ever listen to your kid counting to 100 and think… damn, when does school start back up again?!
— Marissa 💚💛 (@michimama75) July 7, 2022
what my son says: i’m an expert at go fish
what he means: i’ve never played it before and have no idea what the rules are
— 🦇 cella 🦇 (@cellapaz) July 3, 2022
what I say: call me any time
what I mean: never call me
— eLeni (@eleniZarro) June 9, 2022
The real mission impossible is trying to do a home workout with pets or kids around
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) July 6, 2022
My kids are currently burying a decapitated Barbie doll in the sand. 😳
It’s fine. Everything’s fine.
— Emily ™ (@emily_tweets) July 6, 2022
A haunted house, but for dads and all the lights are on. All of them.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) July 6, 2022
Husbands: *enjoying anything*
Wives: Not so fast, buddy.
— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) July 6, 2022
My 7yo wanted to play bedtime which involved me getting into pyjamas and into bed while she shushed everyone in the house and sometimes I really do love playing with my children
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) July 6, 2022
Teaching little kids sports is weird. We spend the first few years making sure they share and play nice, and then all of a sudden we’re screaming at them to steal and win at all costs.
— Satirical Mommy (@SatiricalMommy) July 6, 2022
I enjoy angry breakup songs way more than a person who's happily married probably should
— Deena Lang (@itsdeenalang) June 27, 2022
Friend: What's it like having 3 kids?
Me: You know when the Dementors attacked Harry? A lot like that.
— 3 Wild Rainbows (@wildrainbow2) July 6, 2022
Just an fyi: doesn’t matter if you fill up that kid’s water. They’ll pound it like a college student at a kegger to stall that mf bedtime.
— @love.you.memeit (@LMemeit) July 6, 2022
Teens will open a kitchen cabinet and act shocked that there are no bowls, like they don't know that every bowl you own is in their room.
— KJ (@IDontSpeakWhine) July 6, 2022
If I missed your favorite mom’s tweet or meme for the week, let me know! Please remember to subscribe to my website to never miss an update if you haven’t already.
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