Welcome to the latest installment of the funniest mom memes and tweets of the week.
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Please enjoy this collection of mom jokes, puns, memes, and regular old rants from some funny-as-hell mommas.
My mom told me I needed to learn how to relax more so I dropped my kids at her house.
— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) August 10, 2022
12yo: *Asks for something*
12yo: That means “Yes but I’m pissed about it” in mom language
— SpacedMom (@copymama) August 10, 2022
My 4yo was pretending to be a cat before bed, then meowed a few times in his sleep. Now that is commitment to a bit
— meghan (@deloisivete) August 10, 2022
My husband just said "calm down" like he wants his own Dateline Special.
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) August 9, 2022
Me: How's school been?
6yo: I haven't learned anything except that my friends are not in my class.
— 3 Wild Rainbows (@wildrainbow2) August 10, 2022
My son was loudly barking like a dog in the other room and I told my husband to go take care of it and now there’s 2 people loudly barking like dogs.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) August 4, 2022
No one warned me how often I’d have to prove I’m not a robot. Thank god robots don’t know what streetlights are
— Melissa Gutierrez (@Fiveoclockmommy) August 8, 2022
I asked my son what time he wanted me to wake him up on the 1st day of school:
"6:30, so I have enough time to shower & cry."
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) August 8, 2022
My kid has informed me that her new camp has ponies but no unicorns, she wasn’t upset, she just wanted to make sure that I understood that I had let her down
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) August 10, 2022
me: I think my kids get an average amount of screen time
also me: sorry, kid. that’s not a blind bag. those are fruit snacks
— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) August 10, 2022
Making up dirty lyrics to songs together, is a love language
— Emily ™ (@emily_tweets) August 10, 2022
My son was invited over 2 different friend's houses for a sleepover and he picked the friend that has a whole drawer in the fridge dedicated to just cheese and I'm wondering how to get invited over for a sleepover
— KJ (@IDontSpeakWhine) August 10, 2022
You can ask a kid to summarize the movie they saw or you can save time by just watching it yourself
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) August 10, 2022
My husband has been cheating on me! He was watching Netflix without me, but it feels the same.
— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) August 10, 2022
Why spend money on graduate school when my mom can give you the third degree for free
— eLeni (@eleniZarro) August 5, 2022
Once your kid can pump their legs on the park swings, the second half of your life begins.
— Marissa 💚💛 (@michimama75) August 9, 2022
used my kids bubble bath and i suddenly lost all my socks and live on a diet of goldfish crackers and boogers
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) August 1, 2022
Why is my kid crying today? Because we got gas in lane 7 and not lane 4.
— Satirical Mommy (@SatiricalMommy) August 10, 2022
Truly amazed I made it through this week without cutting bangs
— Deena Lang (@itsdeenalang) August 5, 2022