Welcome to the latest installment of the funniest mom memes and tweets of the week.
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Please enjoy this collection of mom jokes, puns, memes, and regular old rants from some funny-as-hell mommas.
My 12 year old son spent $12 on lunch today. What exactly is the school serving? Olive Garden??
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) September 14, 2022
My son, as we’re one minute away from pulling up to his school:
“I guess I’ll do my Math homework real quick.”
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) September 14, 2022
My two year old got really angry at me today and yelled “I’m so mad I’m going to kick you into the neighbors house!” and I couldn’t help thinking how proud of him I was for both identifying an emotion and kind of using a metaphor.
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) September 14, 2022
I think I might be asking too much of my wardrobe, like: What do I wear today to look nice but also probably move furniture?
— mean things I say to myself (@meantomyself) September 15, 2022
adulthood is bullshit because everyone stops being impressed that you’re at the top of the growth chart and are instead “concerned” for your “health”
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) September 8, 2022
Not to brag but my kid is so polite she woke me up to check if she was making too much noise
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) September 12, 2022
Me at 4:15: What time do you get off?
Me: Ok well hurry up.
— Mom Meh Dearest🤦🏼♀️ (@mommeh_dearest) September 14, 2022
5 asked if he could tell us all a bedtime story so we lay down and got cosy and he said “once upon a time the sun exploded and everyone died the end”
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) September 14, 2022
My son is going out to help our neighbor look for his missing dog and I jokingly said something about him never wanting to help me find my keys when they're missing and without skipping a beat he said, "That's because you don't offer $100 rewards"
— KJ (@IDontSpeakWhine) September 13, 2022
I don’t have a favorite kid but my 7yo son came with me to a PTA meeting because he “didn’t want me to be alone cause being alone sucks” and that’s the sweetest thing one of my kids has done
— Melissa Gutierrez (@Fiveoclockmommy) September 9, 2022
My favorite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it and then I never find it again
— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) September 13, 2022
I have so much to do I think I’ll have a nap about it
— Mom Jeans (@momjeansplease) September 12, 2022
Kids don’t need parents, they need chauffeurs
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) September 14, 2022
“I just saw a dead guy on the side of the road……….. oh wait, it was a shoe”
– my kid
— Deena Lang (@itsdeenalang) September 9, 2022
Calling your parents your ‘roommates’ is worse than just admitting that you live with your parents.
— Emily ™ (@emily_tweets) September 14, 2022
My husband excused himself from the table to take a work call. What’s the official waiting period on stealing his fries?
— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) September 13, 2022
Current me is pissed at past me for making plans today.
— 3 Wild Rainbows (@wildrainbow2) September 10, 2022
At my age getting wild is not using my blinker to switch lanes.
— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) September 13, 2022
I suffer from a common sleep disorder called children.
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) September 9, 2022
Have to write a note to my kid’s first grade teacher, and now I’m stressed out about my handwriting
— meghan (@deloisivete) September 12, 2022
Facebook Twitter pic.twitter.com/2lAOthGwjf
— eLeni (@eleniZarro) September 14, 2022
4yo crawled into my bed, kissed me and told me he wants to go to some stores
— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) September 12, 2022
We mean it when we say kids are clingy. Today my kid pulled up a chair when I went to take a shower. pic.twitter.com/UsWXIpSLxH
— Satirical Mommy (@SatiricalMommy) September 12, 2022