The three of us are in the drive-thru line at Chick-Fil-A.
The attendant…attendant? The person who stands in line and takes the order. What’s that person called? Cashier? They do take payments.
The Chick-Fil-A person asks the 7-year-old if she wants chicken strips or chicken nuggets.
It’s dead silent.
For like a minute.
So I turn around and look at her and her brother is staring at her and she’s just got this blank look like someone just asked her to name every digit in Pi.
“Bean, do you want nuggets or strips? The little fat things or the long thin things?”
She chose nuggets.
We get our food and we’re eating it in the car because we’re goddamn animals and she opens the bag and goes “oh. I wanted strips.”
I finished my meal in the trunk.
Here are some of the funniest parenting tweets and memes from parents this week.
I met the teacher my son is always complaining about. I had a few words with her this morning in the bathroom mirror.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) August 28, 2020
I’ve got 99 problems and its all silverware my husband keeps refusing to wash at the bottom of the sink.
— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) August 27, 2020
Parenting, where one minute you feel like you’ll explode from how much you love them and the next you’re screaming at them to stop ice skating on their own pee.
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) August 26, 2020
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Especially on vacation #gotohell #ragemonster #whygodwhy #momhumor #funnymoms #motherhoodunplugged #momlife #dadlife #momsofinstagram #lifewithkids #scarymommy #parentingmemes #momtruth #parenthoodunplugged #momprobs #parentinghumor #dadsofinstagram #mommemes #antiparenting #parentingsucks
Virtual school starts Monday. We’ve been waiting for virtual open house to start for more than 30 mins. We still don’t know who all of her virtual teachers are. My toddler is yelling “BAGINA” in the background (IRL not virtually). And I’m virtually over it.
— Rachel Sobel (@whinecheezits) August 27, 2020
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Good news, kiddos! 🤣 [@torturedbytoddlers] . . . #lifeofdad #dadlife #wearedadz #dads #dadz #homeschool #homeschooling #exhaustedparents #tiredparents #dadmemes #dadmeme #parentinghacks #dadhacks #parentinghumor #kids #toddlers #parenting #fatherhood #parenthood #parents #momlife #dadjokes #parentlife #parentinglife #lifewithkids #funnydads #dadhumor #dadsofinstagram #parentmemes #parentingmemes
Live, laugh, launder money for a Mexican drug cartel through a Missouri casino
— Girl Who Came to Stay (@Mom_Overboard) August 26, 2020
8-year-old: All people like pizza.
Me: Some people don't.
8: Then they're not people.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 28, 2020
I don’t know how we are ever going to trust celebrating the new year again.
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) August 26, 2020
In marriage the phrase “with all due respect” is just a nice way of saying “bitch, I got this.”
— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) August 28, 2020
Hi I have a question about kids and listening and that question is when do they start doing that
— AsKateWouldHaveIt (@KateWouldHaveIt) August 17, 2020
To be honest, this apocalypse is taking longer than I thought it would.
— Boyd's Backyard™ (@TheBoydP) August 25, 2020
14: (dragging herself out of her bedroom) Um, aren’t you going to tell me good morning?
Me: Good afternoon.
— Julie Burton (@ksujulie) August 27, 2020
Well, well, well if it isn’t me furiously doing jumping jacks on the last day of vacation trying to undo 3 weeks of poor eating choices.
— Gila Pfeffer (@Gilapfeffer) August 27, 2020
Is Running Every Day Bad For You?
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