The 7-year-old took off her headphones for a while. I could hear the teacher instructing the class.
She told the students to go do independent reading and sign back into the Zoom at 11am.
“What time do we come back?” one student asked.
Then another. And another.
I counted 9 times.
She repeated herself calmly every time.
An early thank you to all the teachers. This is going to be a long-ass school year.
Here are some of the funniest parenting tweets and memes from parents this week.
normalize being day drunk if you’re home schooling your children.
— 𝓜 (@Love_bug1016) September 11, 2020
My wife got a Yankee Candle coupon and I’m not sure if we can afford to save this much money.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) September 9, 2020
Wife: You have to stop throwing the kids into the lake to teach them how to swim.
Husband: It's the only way they're going to learn.
Wife: Yeah, but their parents are getting really angry.
— Melanie Gibson (@ImMelanieGibson) September 10, 2020
Husband: *pours milk before cereal*
Me: Get out.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) September 3, 2020
Why are kids so awake when they wake up?
— Chelles (@WhiteGirlChelle) September 10, 2020
Husband: *buys anything* Let’s save the box in case we need to return it.
[2 years and 250 boxes later]
Me: Honey, the kids are lost in your box maze again.
— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) September 10, 2020
My kids broke the TV, tried to cover it up, owned up to it together, and are now inseparable. Apparently all it takes for them to get along is being co-conspirators in a cover-up operation.
— Girl Who Came to Stay (@Mom_Overboard) September 11, 2020
YOUTH 1: lol
YOUTH 2: wtf
YOUTH 1: lmao
YOUTH 2: ikr
ME [trying to fit in]: obgyn
— Swim Jeans
(@ShortSleeveSuit) September 11, 2020
I’d eat my feelings but I’m not sure what kind of dipping sauce pairs well with rage fueled anxiety after another day of remote learning.
— Sarah Cottrell (@HousewifePlus) September 10, 2020
I ain’t nobody’s bitch
…I say as I rush anxiously to hide my 4 year old’s favorite unicorn hat before she finds out it was ruined in the wash
— Arianna Bradford (@TheNYAMProject) September 10, 2020
6-year-old: I feel like I'm getting smarter every day.
Me: Yeah. Because you're in school.
6: So that's why I'm there.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 10, 2020
Not a lot of people know this, but you can go on a 5-mile run and not post your route to Facebook.
— Not the Nanny (@not_thenanny) September 8, 2020
Memorizing my credit card has turned out to be a big mistake.
— Satirical Mommy (@MommySatirical) September 4, 2020
Every mother has consumed that soggy, half-eaten cookie that’s been manhandled by a toddler because there’s literally no garbage can in sight.
— Rachel Sobel (@whinecheezits) September 6, 2020
Got a new deep cooker yesterday and it’s red and shiny and I’m in love but my husband doesn’t get the level of joy it’s bringing me and my kids are laughing at me so I’ve decided I’m running away with my deep cooker and we’re gonna live happily ever after don’t try to stop me
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) September 4, 2020
*5 yo on her kindergarten Zoom class*
Teacher: "So what do you do before joining our Zoom class?"
5yo: "My mommy hits me and says 'do good!"
Me, no make-up, bagel crumbs on my face, unexpectedly joining the Zoom class: "SHE MEANS I HIGH FIVE HER HAND!!!"
— Stay at Homies (@stayathomies) September 3, 2020
Weird Marathon Rules Runners Have To Follow