A little personal news before diving into the funniest parenting memes and tweets this week.
I’ve been incredibly lucky to work on several amazing and fun projects in my career. I’ve done books, written comedy sketches, recording podcasts, and worked with awesome people and brands.
This past year, I had the pleasure of working with the team behind the What Do You Meme line of games. The entire experience – from start to finish – was extraordinary.
I worked on three card games for the company and the first game is finally available.
“WARNING: This game could get you grounded for life! Take family time to the next level with this hilarious card game, where the player who makes the funniest (or craziest) sentence combination wins. Go wild competing with your family — just don’t get grounded.”
This project was not only fun, but it was also named one of the top holiday toys from Toy Insider!
If you’re still looking for a last-minute gift for your kids – or other random kids – you should absolutely pick up Grounded For Life.
Alright, that’s my hard sell. Now onto the funny stuff.
There's an old saying about raising kids: The days are long. The days are so, so damn long. I don't remember the rest.
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) December 10, 2020
One Christmas tradition we have is when a roll of tape runs out we keep the empty one with all of the wrapping stuff so it frustrates everyone.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) December 9, 2020
Keeping the magic in Christmas by yelling “Don’t open that!” every time an Amazon box is delivered.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) December 9, 2020
Stop calling it an ugly sweater! It’s a sweater with great personality
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) December 7, 2020
Sometimes I think to myself, oh man I can’t believe that just happened I should totally tweet it, and then I think, but there’s no way anyone will believe me, and then I remember this is twitter, and I press tweet
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) December 11, 2020
I'm at the age where my slippers cost more than my shoes.
— Twin Dad (@TwinSurvivalist) December 10, 2020
Husband, watching me eat ice cream straight from the carton: You uh … want a bowl for that?
Me: It’s IN a bowl.
Husband (wisely) backs out of the room.
— 🎄 Andi Cane 🎄 (@AndLookPretty) December 10, 2020
I just had an ice cream as a reward for not having a third slice of pizza. Follow me for more healthy eating tips.
— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) December 9, 2020
The irony is not lost on me that I’m yelling fuuuck while trying to hang a sign that says “joy” by the fireplace.
— Mommy Needs A Life (@mom_needsalife) December 4, 2020
When your 4yo wakes up at 4:45am crying hysterically and you go in to check on her and she keeps crying and muttering something you can’t understand but then luckily calms down just enough to ask clearly, “why can c3po talk but not r2d2?”
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) December 7, 2020
My 7yo never stops asking questions about the most inane topics. The other day she was in the bath and called out to me, "Mama, what's your favorite vowel sound?"
— SpacedMom (@copymama) December 10, 2020
Doctor: I think you need to drink more-
— Vision Bored🎄 (@VisionBored1) December 10, 2020
My kid had her checkup today and her pediatrician reassured me that her hearing is perfect. So my kid is really out here just choosing not to listen.
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) December 9, 2020
10-year-old: Can I FaceTime with my friend?
Me: Where are you going to do it from?
10: A room that's clean.
Me: Go ahead.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 10, 2020
*Hearing my kids fighting upstairs
once I can run up those stairs without getting winded, it’s so over for them
— Dave Ween (@pittdave13) December 9, 2020
“I’m washing my tits”
has now been added to the list of things I didn’t expect to hear from my 3 y.o son..
— Steve 🏳️🌈 (@papaneedscoffee) December 11, 2020