“Is Santa real?” the 10-year-old asks.
We’re at the dinner table with my parents and his little sister.
My parents stayed quiet, but I could feel them both staring at me with a “Whelp, good luck with this” look.
I wanted to tell him the truth because his mom and myself spend every day explaining how we hate when he lies, but I needed to lie because his little sister, age 7, is sitting to my left and hanging on my response.
“Of course he’s real. Where else would the gifts come from?”
“You and mom buy them for us.”
“How the heck would me and your mom have time to buy all those gifts? We both work and take care of the two of you all day.”
I wanted the kid who witnesses Amazon boxes piling up in his mom’s house, and mine, to believe gift purchasing is near impossible.
The answer seemed to be good enough, and someone, I want to say it was my mom, changed the subject.
Santa left a note under the tree for me one Christmas, explaining he was getting really busy with other boys and girls worldwide, and my parents would be taking over buying the gifts. The letter was so obviously my mom’s handwriting, and I already knew the Santa charade.
I’m sure my son was told by friends that Santa is bullshit. I don’t remember how I came to that conclusion. I think eventually, a kid’s brain uses logic and realizes a man traveling around the world to deliver toys to every child is just impossible. Not to mention the guy slips in and out of every house without getting caught.
I’ll tell him eventually, away from his sister’s ears, that Santa is just a fun thing and Christmas and to help keep up the charade for as long as his sister still believes.
And if he doesn’t, there’s an Amazon box filled with coal with his name on the label.
One hour energy.
Someone get on that.
— Chris Illuminati (@chrisilluminati) December 11, 2020
Other Stuff I Did When I Wasn’t Writing Notes.
- Every parent of an athlete should check out my interview with Team USA runner Corey McGee. She started racing competitively at the age of 9, and her parents were supportive but not pushy or overbearing about her quest to become an elite runner.
- This guy doesn’t realize you’re supposed to get in a plane to get places and not on the wing.
- This professional wrestler proves age doesn’t matter when getting in amazing shape.
- And finally, if you’re looking for a last-minute holiday gift, please check out the family game I helped develop with the people at What Do You Meme? It’s called Grounded for Life – The Ultimate Family Game and was named one of the top holiday toys from Toy Insider!
My interview with the very nice, but very evil, Danhausen.
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