Welcome to another edition of “parents just barely making it,” better known as, “the funniest tweets and memes of the week.”
I’m going to save my comments for my Monday morning post but I’d like everyone to enjoy this video exploring a trauma from childhood.
I feel better getting that out in the open. Let’s get on with the tweets and memes…
….BUT BEFORE WE GET TO THE FUNNY — have you checked out Magic Spoon? If your kids love breakfast cereal but you’re not crazy about all of the sugar in most cereals – Magic Spoon is your saving grace. My kids love this stuff. It’s low carb, high protein, and tastes amazing.
Ok, here we go…
Since the day he was born, I always hoped my kid would grow up to be smarter, funnier, and more successful than me. I just didn’t expect him to do this by age 4.
— threetimedaddy (@threetimedaddy) May 13, 2021
Don’t tell me to cherish every moment when every toilet has poop in it because my kids can apparently work iPads but can’t flush a damn toilet
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) May 13, 2021
Barber: *absolutely butchering my hair * so whaddya think?
Me, an introvert: looks great!
— Average Dad (@Average_Dad1) May 12, 2021
https://www.instagram.com/p/CO0vDSphRi8/
You can either have a nice evening or you can help your child with their math homework.
You can’t have both.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) May 14, 2021
Living in the country is like, I have to drive 45 minutes to get to town and they call it town because there’s a Walmart. I hope this clears things up
— Crockett🍀 (@CrockettForReal) May 12, 2021
A benefit of being married is you discover you've been dressing wrong your entire life.
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) May 14, 2021
Here’s my strategy so just hear me out. We have pizza for lunch and then we have DIFFERENT pizza for dinner.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) May 13, 2021
I just don’t want them to lift the sweatpants mandate. I can’t go back to jeans.
— Jesse Daniel Lifson (@DoYouEvenLif) May 13, 2021
Me: *says something hilarious*
My kids: *eye roll*
My husband: *burps*
My kids: *hysterical laughter* daddy’s so much funnier than you
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) May 13, 2021
It’s day 5 of the search for my kid’s missing sneakers. We need them by Sunday and they are 100% somewhere on our property. So I open it up to you all. Where should I look?!
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) May 13, 2021
Nothing is as contagious as the illness one of the kids is faking when the others learn you’re letting him stay home from school.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) May 14, 2021
Hey girl are you American health insurance, cause I can’t understand or afford you
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) May 7, 2021
Every parent has that one corner of the house where you put broken things you think you're gonna fix one day. pic.twitter.com/tbznIwyLYG
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) May 14, 2021
Playing with my 4yo and she wants me to pretend to call her restaurant to order food. She tells me she’s going to cook all my food and deliver it. So, I sit down and get ready for my pretend meal that I didn’t have to cook and she looks at me and says, “Pretend I’m not open.”
— Rachel Sobel (@whinecheezits) May 13, 2021
Nurse: it’s important to eat enough the next few days so your body can start to build antibodies
Me: so I should order a large pizza and eat it all
Nurse: that’s not quite-
Me: extra large it is
— Vision Bored (@VisionBored1) May 12, 2021
Growing up my mother used to let us put one spoonful of sugar on our already sugared cereal. But just one.
— mommaunfiltered (@MommaUnfiltered) May 13, 2021
Avoiding people you know at the grocery store is an act of kindness.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) May 6, 2021
Me: *says something hilarious*
My kids: *eye roll*
My husband: *burps*
My kids: *hysterical laughter* daddy’s so much funnier than you
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) May 13, 2021
I'm pretty sure my cause of death is going to be small talk.
— Rock the Kasbah (@MarieLoerzel) May 13, 2021
No parenting book or blog post prepares you for the first time a young child asks where cryptocurrency comes from.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) May 11, 2021
intermittent fasting? i just slept 7 hours without a snack what more do you want from me?
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) May 5, 2021
I keep hearing that my picky eater will eventually grow out of this phase but my husband is 43 now and I’m starting to lose hope
— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) May 11, 2021
Shout out to whoever designed those cute reusable kids sandwich containers that don’t fit a slice of bread in them.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) May 6, 2021
The new girl at work called the boss Gary. It’s not his name and nothing this month will be better than this.
— Mary (@AnniemuMary) May 11, 2021
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