It’s July 4th weekend! Which section of the backyard are you spending the holiday in?!?
For those parents “lucky” enough to be traveling with kids, stay safe.
For those parents unlucky enough to be stuck at home with kids, stay safe.
For everyone reading this who doesn’t have kids, screw you!
Enjoy the funniest parenting tweets and memes of the past week and have a good holiday weekend.
Most summers: day trips, play dates, fun projects, beach vacations
This summer: keep the kids alive
— Mommy Needs A Life (@mom_needsalife) July 2, 2020
No amount of Xanax can brace me for the upcoming announcement by the Department of Education about how back to school will work in September.
— The Mom Who Knew Too Much (@Gilapfeffer) July 2, 2020
Being a parent means you can do 25,000 things right and one thing wrong.
Your child will endlessly talk about the one thing.
— Lessons from the Minivan (@FromMinivan) July 2, 2020
I have 99 problems and trying to get my kids to eat are 98 of them.
— TeacherMom (@TweatingForTwo) July 1, 2020
Me: Love means never having to say you’re sorry
Her: You ran over my foot with the car
Me: *pressing my finger to her lips* Shhhhh. Never. Sorry.
— Son of Dad (@ThugRaccoons) July 2, 2020
– Has mimosas
– Alcohol for breakfast
— Dad That Writes ☕ (@dadthatwrites) July 1, 2020
I’m at the “oh my god just stop fucking talking and close your eyes before my head explodes” part in our bedtime routine.
— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) July 2, 2020
4: can you make Buzz Lightyear talk to Jessie?
Me: *grabs Buzz and says hi to Jessie doll*
4: *pretending to be Jessie* can’t talk now, I need alone time
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) July 1, 2020
Ever just go on Amazon and order a $7 gift for yourself? Like, do I need an egg timer shaped like porcupine? Of course not, but I’m creating JOY for myself, DAMMIT!
— Mommy Meme Jeans 🎂 (@mommymemejeans) June 30, 2020
10: Why did the guy on the news just say “Warning”
Me: He didn’t. He said “morning”
10: Well, warning would work too
— Mom On The Rocks (@mom_ontherocks) July 1, 2020
Imagine how much easier parenting would be if your kid listened the first time
— Chris Illuminati (@chrisilluminati) June 30, 2020
Me, teaching math: I round up when the digit is 5 or higher and always round down when your dad asks how much I spent at Target.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) July 2, 2020
Just pulled over a folded stack of laundry and laid my head upon it like a pillow.
— Virginia McMurdo (@VirginiaMcMurdo) July 2, 2020
Peak adulthood is saying things like, “I want a house with a porch so I can sit outside and drink my morning coffee,” with 100% seriousness.
— Mommy Uncensored (@amomuncensored) July 1, 2020
Lockdown has provided important research time for science pic.twitter.com/3F0szNPLxo
— Theo Shantonas (@TheoShantonas) July 2, 2020
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