My kids received their school plan for the year. There were two options.
OPTION A – homeschool the entire year.
OPTION B – homeschool three days a week and go to school the other two days.
Their mom and I chose option B but part of me is curious about what would have happened if we let them choose.
I’d like to think they’d both choose option B because they’re sick of sitting home all day but then I remember they’re children and never, EVER do what I expect them to do.
Then I think about myself at their age and I would have been OPTION A without giving it much thought.
Unfortunately, the way things are looking, both are options “for now.”
Anyway, here are some of the funniest parenting tweets and memes from the past week to dull the pending pain.
A woman's place is in the kitchen, so she can taste this delicious carbonara I am making
— tom (@pilau) July 24, 2020
I've been taking an online yoga class for a week now and I feel 18 again. That was the year a bus ran over me in the school parking lot.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) July 28, 2020
Me to my 11 yo: Thanks for making me a mom 11 years ago.
11 yo: No. Thank dad for having sex with you.
— Rachel Sobel (@whinecheezits) July 28, 2020
Me: Honey, can you please listen for the kids and watch them while I go to the bathroom?
Husband: Sure. *listens to the kids call for me and watches them come ask me questions while I’m on the toilet*
— Arianna Bradford (@TheNYAMProject) July 30, 2020
Fridge creator #1: “OK so we call it the Fresh Drawer and it’s to put food into to ‘keep it fresh’ when actually it’s just the place people put stuff and forget about it until it rots. Then they have to buy more food.”
Fridge creator #2: “Jesus. That’s brilliant.”
— Chris Illuminati (@chrisilluminati) July 30, 2020
Can’t wait to homeschool my kid while working from home while trying to eat healthy while avoiding the coronavirus while trying to keep sane while keeping up with the news while getting five minutes to myself while cleaning the house while writing a book while being a mom.
— Jess Carpenter (@JessCarpWrites) July 29, 2020
The most unrealistic thing I've ever seen in a movie is when an entire family sits down to eat breakfast together on a weekday.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) July 27, 2020
I don’t know what’s so hard for men to understand. I’m fine means I’m fine and I’m fine means you have 2 minutes to vacate the premises.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) July 29, 2020
It turns out that writing a memoir is more work than I thought it would be so instead I’m just going to publish my Amazon order history.
— Gila Pfeffer (@Gilapfeffer) July 30, 2020
Haunted Houses this year are just gonna have the news on.
— your other mom (@difficultpatty) July 30, 2020
Wife: Today was awful.
Me: Tomorrow is a new day.
Wife: Is that a threat?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 31, 2020
I don’t have the upper body strength to put on a sports bra
— Dumb Beezie (@dumbbeezie) July 30, 2020
My 3-year-old told me she needs to brush her teeth so she doesn’t get “cabbages” and I didn’t have the heart to correct her because frankly that sounds just as bad.
— The Mommy Memeoirs (@mommymemeoirs) July 29, 2020
“Not much longer, my darlings. Just have patience.”
-Me in my closet, talking to my hoodies
— Mommy Meme Jeans (@mommymemejeans) July 29, 2020