Welcome to the newest collection of the funniest mom memes and tweets.
Enjoy this collection of mom jokes, puns, memes, and regular old rants from some funny-as-hell mommas.
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Learning to type out obscenities on the calculator was really where we peaked as a society.
— Bird Eckler (@Birdeckler) March 11, 2024
Sources close to me report I’m easy to get annoyed with but hard to stay mad at
— Leen McBeans ꪜ (@LeenMcBeans) March 13, 2024
“I’m gonna cut the wall out of the house” and other threats my kid makes that I really want to respond to with, “go ahead, I wanna see you try”
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) March 14, 2024
My job: you can have four days off as a treat
My daughter’s soccer schedule: bitch you thought
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) March 14, 2024
My kid announced he’s counting to Infinity. It’s been five minutes and he’s on 39. Send help.
— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) March 12, 2024
“Because it’s stupid and I don’t want to” feels like a perfectly good reason to skip a meeting.
— Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) March 13, 2024
I’ve never been less self aware than the time I bought a $1000 pellet smoker thinking I was the kind of person who would have the patience to smoke meat
— Sam G (@ItsSamG) March 12, 2024
I don’t care how weird you think your day is going, I just went to change my shirt to find a fucking BIRD flying around in my bedroom. Talk about the most epic jump scare..
— Emily ™ (@emily_tweets) March 12, 2024
My husband claims I lack self-restraint but every minute I don't kill him proves otherwise.
— Emma Beasley🐝 (@JustBeingEmma) March 7, 2024
do you also have to stretch out before scrolling to your birth year or were born after 1980
— nika (@nikalamity) March 13, 2024
I get to run an ice breaker at the staff meeting today and I'm just gonna have everyone share their Kate Middleton theories.
— your other mom (@difficultpatty) March 13, 2024
We’ve reached the age where when our daughter comes into the bedroom first thing, she worries that we’re dead.
— Late to the party Laura (@ericamorecambe) March 14, 2024
I’m only middle aged, I still have plenty of good years left ahead of me for continuous joint pain. ❤️😀
— Kelly (@kelly__le) March 10, 2024
All the mall women's apparel stores just be renamed like Forever 21. Gap, Forever 27. LOFT, Forever 45. Talbot's, Forever 63. Hollister, You Have Got To Be Kidding Me It's So Dark I Thought This Was LOFT
— nice things I say to myself (@meantomyself) March 13, 2024
My 14yo not only told me she didn’t like her name, but presented me with a list of alternate names she would have preferred, so good luck expecting parents!
— SpacedMom (@copymama) March 12, 2024
My husband and 4yo are playing with the doctor kit and toy dinosaurs. My husband named the dino doctor The Dinocologist.
We were definitely meant for each other.
— The Mom Hack (@TheMomHack) March 14, 2024
At my age, all sports are now considered extreme sports.
— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) March 13, 2024
Sorry I’m late, I was closing all the tabs I had open on my phone.
— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) March 14, 2024
[Referring to an academic article I read online]: This meme I saw,
— inspector ratchet (@_hood_mona_lisa) March 10, 2024
I love being a pedestrian with a stroller in the suburbs it’s like oh yeah there’s a sidewalk! It does end suddenly and you have to push your baby into oncoming traffic, though.
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) March 13, 2024
Men will never understand the thrill of narrowly missing your period on vacation
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) March 10, 2024
I don't want to jinx it, but I have now kept the latest house plants alive for over one (1) month
— meghan (@deloisivete) March 14, 2024
I guess "Peace out, bitches!" wasn't an appropriate way to leave the PTA meeting.
I know this now.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) March 13, 2024
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