Welcome to the newest collection of the funniest mom memes and tweets.
Enjoy this collection of mom jokes, puns, memes, and regular old rants from some funny-as-hell mommas.
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If you google "procrastination” it brings up images of all of my kids doing their homework, in the car, on the way to school.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) March 21, 2024
Adding cheese to my leftovers before reheating in the microwave pic.twitter.com/0VL4Gpc6lQ
— meghan (@deloisivete) March 21, 2024
Thing is, if my husband died on the toilet we wouldn’t discover him for hours.
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) March 21, 2024
I love Twitter because someone responded to my tweet about emailing my husband to bring me cheese that I was just tweeting it to brag that my husband was a lawyer. 😂
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) March 20, 2024
I practice gentle parenting with a twist, and the twist is called yelling.
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) March 19, 2024
Preteen daughter: Would you say you’re more rustic, bohemian, or cottagecore?
Me: I’m 42. That’s it. That’s my style.
— DonutHawk (@StruggleDisplay) March 20, 2024
If I vaped McDonald's sprite, I bet I could time travel
— inspector ratchet (@_hood_mona_lisa) March 19, 2024
Spent the evening with a bunch of moms. We didn’t talk about our kids but ask me anything about their dogs.
— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) March 21, 2024
Me: Let’s go out tonight!
[10 minutes later] pic.twitter.com/M0ul5pFiR8
— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) March 20, 2024
Good news: we made it through winter without getting the stomach bug
Bad news: we made it 12 hours into spring without getting the stomach bug
— The Mom Hack (@TheMomHack) March 20, 2024
My 14yo not only told me she didn’t like her name, but presented me with a list of alternate names she would have preferred, so good luck expecting parents!
— SpacedMom (@copymama) March 12, 2024
I could make a ton of money on OnlyFans.
People just throwing money at me to put my clothes back on.
— Kelly (@kelly__le) March 21, 2024
Shout out to all my other recovering black sheep out there… I see you.
— Emily ™ (@emily_tweets) March 20, 2024
If you could call in awkward to work, I would be on permanent leave
— nice things I say to myself (@meantomyself) March 20, 2024
The reason we are all so obsessed with finding Kate Middleton is because we grew up with Super Mario Bros and were literally trained to save the princess
— Sam G (@ItsSamG) March 11, 2024
I was honored when my kid called me the funniest person in the world but then I realized it wasn’t a compliment
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) March 21, 2024
I’ve just mastered a great workout. Trying to get a fitted sheet onto a mattress that’s a bit too big for it when tired.
— Late to the party Laura (@ericamorecambe) March 20, 2024
I’m at the point now, where it’s easier to never drink than to ever deal with a hangover in my 40s.
— Bird Eckler (@Birdeckler) March 17, 2024
Happy minimize your screen the boss is coming day to all who celebrate
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) March 21, 2024
Me: Time to get ready for school.
3yo: Nooo, I want to stay home and be naked.
Same, kid. Same.
— Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) March 21, 2024
Whenever I see someone with super long nails, I immediately wonder how they button their jeans.
— your other mom (@difficultpatty) March 20, 2024
Having kids involves learning a whole new set of names for everything.
“If it’s not in the sleepy chair (recliner) or on top of the treasure chest (storage ottoman), then I guess it has to be in the springy thing (hamper).
— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) March 20, 2024
If you have a crush on me, let me tell you: You’re wrong
— Leen McBeans ꪜ (@LeenMcBeans) March 20, 2024
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