Welcome to the latest installment of the week’s funniest mom memes and tweets.
Enjoy this collection of mom jokes, puns, memes, and regular old rants from some funny-as-hell mommas.
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There could be a sack of cash in the back row of the refrigerator and my family still wouldn’t move the things in front aside to get it.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) January 5, 2024
Good morning to everyone except the 3yo who threw his underwear in the toilet and the 5yo who “accidentally” peed on his iPad.
— Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) January 10, 2024
I was annoyed at my husband for misplacing his sunglasses again. After retracing our steps, I realized I was actually sitting on them in the car. So, I threw them under his seat and became the hero when I found them.
Follow me for more marriage advice.
— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) January 9, 2024
Since becoming a toddler mom, I deeply regret the purchase of every purely decorative object on display in my house
— The Mom Hack (@TheMomHack) January 10, 2024
Today my 3yo & 11mo got in our bed and we hung out. This might not seem like a big deal, and Im kind of embarrassed bc I feel like its my fault, but my kids don’t get along. This is the first time we’ve been able to be this close without a huge meltdown. It’s been a rough year.
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) January 9, 2024
I’m 36 and I still can’t believe I’m allowed to wander around and do shit without supervision. I have to remind myself I’m in charge of me far too often for a middle aged adult.
— Leen McBeans ꪜ (@LeenMcBeans) January 10, 2024
I guess I meant to say that I am horny for avocado but I said "I am pregnant for avocado" and I think that works even better really
— nice things I say to myself (@meantomyself) January 11, 2024
My mom [on the phone]: Hi I can't talk long
Narrator: But she can. She CAN talk long
— Helleanor Rigby (@Mom_Overboard) January 8, 2024
There’s a guy at the gym stumbling around like a sleepy toddler and my maternal instinct tells me I should hand him a juice box and encourage him to quietly watch an episode of cocomelon on the mats
— Sam G (@ItsSamG) January 10, 2024
Can’t believe how quickly I fell asleep last night.
I didn’t even get a chance to regret all the conversations I made awkward during the day.
— Kelly (@kelly__le) January 8, 2024
My 2yo seems to be giving up naps. If his new year's resolution is to drive me crazy, he's off to a great start.
— Raw Motherhood (@MetteAngerhofer) January 1, 2024
me: time to get up for school
my kid, still in bed: I am up, my eyes are just closed
— meghan (@deloisivete) January 10, 2024
Every craft store needs an aisle labeled So Your Child Has a School Project Due Tomorrow.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) December 19, 2023
I’ve never committed a crime but I have changed my niece’s diaper in the public washroom while she screamed “YOU’RE NOT MY MOM”
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) January 10, 2024
I'm proud of my kids but not "ruin my car with honor roll bumper stickers" proud.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) January 11, 2024
A t-shirt gun outfitted for Costco hotdogs.
— your other mom (@difficultpatty) January 10, 2024
You don’t scare me, you’re not the first time I’ve stepped on a scale after two weeks of vacation eating.
— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) January 11, 2024
8 to her 3rd GRADE TEACHER:
FYI, at the end of the year almost all my teachers have been told to "retire".— nika (@nikalamity) January 9, 2024
I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) January 11, 2024
My husband wants me to do a dry January which I have no problem with. I'm on my second bottle of chardonnay right now.
— Emma Beasley🐝 (@JustBeingEmma) January 6, 2024
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