Welcome to the newest collection of the funniest mom memes and tweets.
Enjoy this collection of mom jokes, puns, memes, and regular old rants from some funny-as-hell mommas.
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I was born in the wrong time period. I wasn't meant to go to work every day. I was meant to get eaten by a predator
— snacky 🫧 (@candyflippin) February 14, 2024
Next time you doubt your parenting, remember that even Mary Poppins needed a leash to keep the children in line pic.twitter.com/3lR6KbA1Ev
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) February 14, 2024
Call me? Sure, but not during the day when I’m working and not at night when I’m with the kids, and not after they go to bed because I’m exhausted.
But yeah, give me a call.— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) February 9, 2024
Meal planning? That would never work.
I have teens and they already ate this week's worth of groceries that I brought home yesterday.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) February 14, 2024
Kids are like “why put my laundry away when I can drop it on top of the dirty laundry on the floor?”
— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) February 14, 2024
When the chip breaks off in the dip you have to go back with another chip for the rescue mission.
— your other mom (@difficultpatty) February 14, 2024
Whenever my husband surprises me with a kind gesture, I can't help but wonder what he's hiding or trying to make up for.
— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) February 13, 2024
I’m in the school pickup line & there’s a fourth grader wearing a Nirvana shirt.
Imma about to roll down this window & call this bitch out.
— Kelly (@kelly__le) February 13, 2024
Get yourself a girl that prefers Pancake Tuesday to Valentine’s Day
— Sam G (@ItsSamG) February 13, 2024
Yes I’d love to do that. As soon as I get a chance once my child has grown up and left home.
— Late to the party Laura (@ericamorecambe) February 13, 2024
Might find and domesticate a hawk this morning
— inspector ratchet (@_hood_mona_lisa) February 10, 2024
a genre of movies called “momcoms”where no one ever cooperates and then everyone wonders why she’s in a bad mood for twenty years
— nika (@nikalamity) February 7, 2024
And some white wine to deglaze the cook (it’s me, I’m the cook)
— meghan (@deloisivete) February 15, 2024
The 5 stages of me getting invited to something:
1. OH HELLLLLL NO
2. Please please please let me already have plans that day
3. SHIT, okay, what’s my excuse to get out of it
4. Maybe I should go, what if I look antisocial?
5. *Composing text declining invite*— SpacedMom (@copymama) February 13, 2024
It’s ok to not have a Valentine on Valentine’s Day. I didn’t have a groundhog on Groundhog’s Day
— Stone Cold Jane Austen (@AbbyHiggs) February 13, 2024
One of my grandmothers was pretty tough and judgmental and the other one had way too many grandchildren to criticize me individually
— nice things I say to myself (@meantomyself) February 15, 2024
I was a better parent before I had kids bc I didn’t know about negotiating with a 3yo. Tonight he asked for ice cream, I said “no you had a popsicle” he said “that was a snack, ice cream is dessert” I gave in, I can’t debate the difference between snack and dessert for an hour??
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) February 15, 2024
6 signs of emotional exhaustion.
1.— Emma Beasley🐝 (@JustBeingEmma) January 15, 2024
I slipped on a banana peel that my toddler left on the kitchen floor and I thought this only happened in cartoons
— The Mom Hack (@TheMomHack) February 13, 2024
So can we start calling them Traylor now?
— Helleanor Rigby (@Mom_Overboard) February 12, 2024
How I tell my husband we don’t need gifts to show our love:
You’re a grown man. If you want something you can buy it yourself.
— Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) February 14, 2024
Friend: so what’s up? how’s things??
Me: *gestures at world*
*unhinged laughter*
*uncontrolled weeping*Friend: lol true, same tbh
— Leen McBeans ꪜ (@LeenMcBeans) February 11, 2024
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