Parenting Notes #626-630

This week, the kids see through my threats, my appliances are asked to do several jobs, and the oldest is into bathroom calisthenics.

But before all that!

Let’s see if there’s some stuff you might have missed such as

• • Parenting Notes #615-620
  • Parenting Notes #621-625
  • My 9-year-old doesn’t like to eat. At all. Ever.

Now that we’ve covered all that, and you’ve subscribed to the website via EMAIL, or followed me on FACEBOOK, TWITTER, and INSTAGRAM, we can get to this week’s notes.

Ok. Are we good?

Good.

Let’s do this.

Parenting Note #626

If you two don’t knock it off, I’m going to drop you off at school!

KID ONE: School is closed.

No, it’s open because the teachers are working on stuff.

KID TWO: What kind of stuff?

Ummm. Stuff for next year. And you’ll have to help them.

(silence)

(Car passes school. The parking lot is empty.)

KID ONE: There were no cars in the parking lot.

They’re working on an underground parking garage! I’m taking you home to get shovels!!

Parenting Note #627

I’m running out of places on the fridge to hang the 6-year-olds artwork.

I’m out of magnets and clips. I’m now using masking tape.

Her pictures hang on the front, both sides, and a few found a home on the top of the fridge because they keep falling and I never remember to buy magnets.

I would put it on my shopping list, but it’s buried under the self-portraits, drawings of myself alongside SpongeBob, colorful interpretations of poop emojis and several images with the words I love you dad scribbled along the edges.

I could be choosier or convince her that some work should hang in her room, but she’s so incredibly proud of each piece that I don’t want to break her heart by rejecting any of her work.

As a writer, the last thing written is usually my best work. I imagine the same is true for an artist. The last piece is the best piece until the next sketch comes along.

Until she learns to critique her own work, every composition goes on display in the kitchen.

I have three more fridges scheduled for delivery this week.

Parenting Note #628

Parenting Note #629

Parenting Note #630

And if you could go home with one of those families, that would be awesome too.

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