Just The Notes

Parenting Tip #379 – Honor The Dead (Toy Stores)

No need to honor the dead toy stores by being somber and sullen. The opportunity to buy a child a toy hides around every corner.

My kids talk about Toys R’ Us like it’s a deceased relative.

Any time the word toys gets mentioned, they both bow their heads and muttering something like “yeah…too bad Toys R’ Us is gone.”

I’m not sure if it’s because they miss the thrill of going to a toy store — because buying kid’s toys online isn’t as much fun — or they assume companies just stopped making toys.

Because they never see toys at:

  • Target
  • Dollar Store
  • Grocery store
  • CVS
  • Doctor’s office
  • Leaving a museum
  • Entering a museum
  • The boardwalk
  • God damn everywhere

Don’t get me wrong. I’m bummed out too.

No need to honor the dead toy stores by being somber and sullen. They still come in contact with toys at every single turn.

They’ll get plenty of opportunities to beg me for stuff for their entire childhood.


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Chris Illuminati is a freelance writer and published author. Follow him on Twitter (@chrisilluminati), Instagram (@messagewithabottle) or email him at

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