Welcome to the latest installment of the week’s funniest dad memes and tweets.
Grab a seat and enjoy this collection of dad jokes, puns, memes, and rants from some funny AF dads.
if you're struggling with your kids lately this tweet is for you:
they're gonna be assholes today too.
i hope this helps.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) November 3, 2023
My 13 y/o daughter and her friends constructed a map to maximize their time spent trick-or-treating to candy ratio and now it seems the only way to kill the impending sugar high will be to point out that they just used math.
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) October 31, 2023
There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.
— Dan Regan (@DanRegan_Comedy) November 2, 2023
As a dad, you’re required to ask your neighbor “You gonna do mine next?” when you see them raking leaves
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) October 29, 2023
Im young enough to have an Instagram account but old enough to have dialed 'zero' on a wall phone to ask a lady what my mom's work phone number was
— 🍁Graham Kritzer (@GrahamKritzer) November 3, 2023
I have eaten all the Halloween candy, so this year trick or treaters are getting Kikkomon soy sauce packets
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) October 31, 2023
From the volume of my neighbor's leaf blower it sounds like he's learned to harness the power of nuclear fission.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) November 3, 2023
My wife sure does want to go on a lot of vacations for someone who's constantly at Target without the kids.
— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) November 3, 2023
Take all those used candy wrappers, put them in a paper towel, squish it into a ball, and then throw it away.
That way, your kids won't know you ate 20 candy bars before any trick or treaters showed up.
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) October 31, 2023
I made a graph of all my past relationships…
There was an ex axis and a why axis.
— PUNS (@ThePunnyWorld) November 3, 2023
My 9yo’s carpet cleaning infomercial:
Spilled smoothie? No worries! Just put a pillow on it and go play basketball.
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) October 27, 2023