Welcome to the latest installment of the week’s funniest mom memes and tweets.
Enjoy this collection of mom jokes, puns, memes, and regular old rants from some funny-as-hell mommas.
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Nothing kept my grandmother from her health and fitness regimen. Every morning, rain or shine, that woman walked five miles each way to the liquor store.
— Emma Beasley🐝 (@JustBeingEmma) December 12, 2023
Is it Boxing Day because of all the Amazon boxes that need to be broken down? Or is it because my kids won’t stop punching each other?
— Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) December 26, 2023
My new neighbour is breaking the law by making noise every night after 11. Do I call the police for this or confront the newborn directly?
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) December 28, 2023
Thoughts for my kid please, he had to limit himself to only one (1) backpack full of stuffed animals for the plane
— meghan (@deloisivete) December 27, 2023
Sitting on the couch is always a fun game of nap roulette.
— Kelly (@kelly__le) December 22, 2023
Katy Perry: You're hot and you're cold
Me [a genius, works in healthcare]: actually Katy Perry that's called a fever
— Helleanor Rigby (@Mom_Overboard) December 26, 2023
Is Gmail okay? I asked it to delete 158,873 promotional emails dating back to 2006 and it seems to be having trouble with that simple request
— nice things I say to myself (@meantomyself) December 27, 2023
And now for the most uncomfortable part of the year when I have to throw a bunch of holiday cards featuring my friends' children into the trash.
— Sophie Vershbow (@svershbow) December 26, 2023
People who took the week off need to stop checking in at work to feel important. Like no, the company will not go bankrupt if you don’t weigh in on that creative brief Kathy, go enjoy your vacation.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) December 27, 2023
WebMD is like, “It’s probably nothing but it’s also probably cancer.”
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) December 27, 2023
Any gift I give you in 2024 will be wrapped in leftover Christmas wrapping paper.
New baby? Merry Christmas!
Getting married? Merry Christmas!
Birthday? Merry Christmas!
— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) December 23, 2023
My 3yo didn’t want asparagus but she loved the “asparagus fries” that were just…asparagus.
It's all about the marketing.
— The Mom Hack (@TheMomHack) December 27, 2023
Read a rant from an anti-screen time mom Instagram influencer about how awful Ms. Rachel is for kids and how she is only making content online for views so she can make money and it’s like…ma’am…the call is coming from inside the house.
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) December 28, 2023
I’ve basically been living off my kids snacks and discarded food since the day after thanksgiving.
— themomessence (@themomessence) December 24, 2023
My husband told me we were out of BBQ sauce because he couldn’t find it so I went to the fridge & looked behind the milk & OMG it’s a miracle: we’re not out of BBQ sauce.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) December 28, 2023
Friend: How was Christmas?
Me: I ate Doritos in bed this morning.
— your other mom (@difficultpatty) December 27, 2023
My kid spent the last 30 minutes pretending to be a mannequin, proving imagination is truly the best gift you can give your kids.
— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) December 27, 2023
guys i bought myself an Apple Watch then made my husband wrap it but forgot and then was legit surprised when i opened it so i guess i’m ready for the old folks home
— nika (@nikalamity) December 26, 2023
Marriage is spending years walking around your house muttering, “that wouldn’t have happened if I lived by myself”
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) December 28, 2023
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