Welcome to the latest installment of the week’s funniest dad memes and tweets.
Grab a seat and enjoy this collection of dad jokes, puns, memes, and rants from some funny AF dads.
"what are your hobbies?" anxiety and pizza.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) August 31, 2023
In case you’re wondering about my level of authority, I told my kid she can have a snack but she still asked for confirmation from my wife.
— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) August 31, 2023
7yo: I have a headache. Can you sit with me til I fall asleep?
Me: Sure, bud.
7yo: So when I die, will I come back?
Me: Now I see why you have a headache.
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) August 24, 2023
I saw a guy and a girl doing high fives in a chemistry lab
and I thought, "wow they be bonding."
— PUNS (@ThePunnyWorld) September 1, 2023
I made dinner reservations for my wife's birthday and told the host there's an extra $20 for the bartenders if they card my wife.
— Dan Regan (@DanRegan_Comedy) August 31, 2023
You're excited to eat the leftovers from dinner yesterday until you find out your son ate it 2 hours after you went to bed last night.
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) August 11, 2023
It’s so cute how my wife and my dog give the same look of disapproval when they see me naked.
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) August 31, 2023
Burger King is being sued for misrepresenting the size of The Whopper, which is why every man on the planet has now retained a lawyer.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) August 31, 2023
My wife wants to buy this. Will someone please tell her garbage bags already come in a box? She won’t listen to me. pic.twitter.com/XKHFTBmASr
— Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) August 31, 2023
Joe Rogan: I recently read that the moon is made of cheese
Jamie: I'm sure that's not right
Joe Rogan: look It up dude
Jamie: says here it's made of rock
Joe Rogan: Roquefort is a cheese. I knew it. What else is NASA hiding from us
— 🍁Graham Kritzer (@GrahamKritzer) August 28, 2023
I love when kids have their friend over for a playdate. They spend their time flexing about all the toys they have. These are the same toys they haven’t touched in 6 months.
— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) August 30, 2023
Offered my 13 y/o daughter a vitamin and she asked if it would give her “nausea, heart disease or possible lung failure?“ Thanks for looking out for our kids with those commercial disclaimers, drug companies.
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) August 29, 2023