Welcome to the latest installment of the week’s funniest dad memes and tweets.
Grab a seat and enjoy this collection of dad jokes, puns, memes, and rants from some funny AF dads.
My 8yo: Why is there so much talking at weddings? Just give each other the rings and get to the party.
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) June 6, 2023
i have a mandatory "violence in the work place" training to take.
i work from home 100%.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) June 8, 2023
Schools: We’ve got a handle on such situations after the learnings from pandemic
Also Schools: Online class times will be the numbers from your fortune cookie
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) June 9, 2023
My 6 year-old: dad what is a wart
My 6 year-old: is it contagious?
Me (growing concerned): WHY
My 6 year-old: can your finger fall off?
Me: whose wart did you touch
My 6 year old:….
My 6 year old:….
My 6 year old: Maybe Jacob's
— 🍁Graham Kritzer (@GrahamKritzer) June 8, 2023
Mom’s out of town, so I suggested we get ice cream for dinner and the kids said no.
I’m totally failing parenting
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) June 9, 2023
I just want my dog’s ability to start snoring within 30 seconds of laying down
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) June 8, 2023
Ope, wrong episode
Go to episodes
Go to season 5, ep 5
Fast forward to where I left off
Turn captions on
I’ve never had to work so hard to watch TV.
— Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) June 7, 2023
I woke my toddler up from her nap and she turned away so she could pretend I wasn’t there. She’s already practicing to be a teenager.
— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) June 8, 2023
You eventually reach the age when you say things like "I remember when this wasn't a road."
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) June 9, 2023
Mechanic: Your car won't pass inspection.
Me: Here's $20 to look the other way.
Mechanic [looking the other way]: Your car won't pass inspection.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) June 8, 2023
Needed a hair cut so I showed a picture of Matt Rife to my barber and told her to make me look like him and she was like “I’m a barber not a miracle worker.”
— Dad Named Matt 🇺🇸 (@mahnamematt) June 8, 2023
I got arrested today for walking out of an art museum with a painting.
I’m just so confused because earlier when I asked the security if I could take a picture they said “yes”.
— PUNS (@ThePunnyWorld) May 24, 2023
Best parts about traveling without the family:
3. Eating whatever I want
2. Actually sleeping straight through the night
3. Arriving at the airport 4 hours early
— Dad Pickup Line (@dadpickupline) June 2, 2023