Welcome to the latest installment of the week’s funniest mom memes and tweets.
BUT BEFORE WE DO THAT…
An announcement – my buddy Clint Edwards (@noideadaddyblog) has a new book out.
It’s called “Anxiously Ever After.”
“In this poignant memoir that is both laugh-out-loud funny, and sniffle inducing, Clint Edwards explores his lifelong struggle with mental illness in the shadow of his father’s battle with the opioid epidemic and his mother’s undiagnosed mental illness.
From being diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder, to finding love, marriage, and having children, Clint explores what it means to find a healthy and balanced life with mental illness as your co-pilot. From the little hells of middle school and (frankly relatable) anxiety poops to running away from home at 14 and dealing with the death of a loved one, to learning that truly basic life lesson: you are not your parents, Clint touches on the crux of living moment to moment, struggle to struggle―without losing your ever-loving mind.
Clint’s candor, critical self-awareness, and refreshing sense of humor make for a one-of-a-kind read that might just make you feel less alone.”
Alright, back to our regularly scheduled program….
Sit right down and enjoy this collection of dad jokes, puns, memes, and rants from some funny AF dads.
I was at a wedding last week and my wife and I were speaking with a young pregnant couple about parenthood and the young wife said the husband asked her if the baby was born with teeth and I can’t stop thinking and laughing about this.
— Don Povia (@HHReynolds) November 13, 2022
It looks like you’re putting sheets on your kids’ bed! Save yourself the time & throw away the flat sheet, they’ll never use it
— Dad Set Against (@DadSetAgainst) November 12, 2022
Sorry I burned your tree down but in my defence I was tired of raking your leaves off my yard
— Mike (@Parentpains) November 16, 2022
Mailed out holiday cards this morning and apologized to other dads for sending it late. Have a good night slackers
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) November 16, 2022
Little kids remember every dinosaur name & things that happened before they were born, but will forget their lunchbox at school 70 percent of the time.
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) November 15, 2022
12 is a wild age. My daughter will spend 15 minutes getting the part in her hair just right because “everyone will notice it” and then coordinate an outing where she and her friends all wear onesie pajamas and roller skates.
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) November 14, 2022
Sitting in my truck under a tree eating my sandwich yesterday when a spider dropped in through the open window and to make a long story short I had to clean mayonnaise off my windshield.
— Thankful Dad Named Matt 🇺🇸 (@mahnamematt) November 16, 2022
An ice cream truck at 8 pm in the middle of November is up to no good.
— Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) November 14, 2022
My 5yo listens to lullaby versions of classic rock music to relax at bedtime and I’d like to think that one day when he grows up he’ll be in a grocery store, hear a familiar tune playing, and realize that he used to fall asleep listening to Pour Some Sugar On Me by Def Leppard
— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) November 16, 2022
Me: *Tells joke to wife*
Me: *Repeats joke to wife*
Wife: “Oh no, I heard you.”
— PUNS (@ThePunnyWorld) November 17, 2022
My son wrote this joke:
“What do pirates wear under their pants?
I’ve never been more proud.
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) November 17, 2022
I don't want to brag but I’ve already started my holiday weight gain.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) November 17, 2022
You see kids, back in the day we would call Ticketmaster, get a busy signal and hit redial a thousand times to get concert tickets.
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) November 17, 2022
Every Sunday night, I once again lie in bed thinking of the 3 things I needed to do over the weekend that would’ve taken like 10 minutes and I still didn’t do them.
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) November 13, 2022
wife: we're going to have fun doing this family activity and making memories today
our kids: the hell we are.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) November 17, 2022
I was the only one at the Teppanyaki table to not catch a shrimp in my mouth, my son cried, my wife left me if you need me I will be in Moldova beginning my new life.
— 🍁Yukon Ghost (@GrahamKritzer) November 17, 2022