Welcome to the latest installment of the funniest dad memes and tweets of the week.
Just a quick “please and thank you” again this week – please subscribe to my YouTube channel. Thank you.
Please enjoy this collection of dad jokes, puns, memes, and rants from some funny AF dads.
My 5 y/o told me she had a great idea for a fort at camp but had to walk away and take deep breaths because she couldn’t stand watching the other kids do it wrong. She’s already captured that feeling parents get doing projects with their kids.
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) August 18, 2022
Hurt my lower back while coughing while I was bracing my already sore ribs from the pain of the cough. Don’t let anyone convince you life is better after 30, they’re liars.
— David Doel (@daviddoel) August 15, 2022
You can say whatever you want in front of your kids until they learn to talk, then you gotta button that shit up. They’ll rat you out in a second
— Crockett🍀 (@CrockettForReal) August 17, 2022
My parenting style is best described as "Go ask your mom".
— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) August 14, 2022
And the Oscar goes to my 7YO for her performance as a devastated deprived kid every time she sees an ice cream truck
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) August 18, 2022
I’m at a point in my life where it’ll take at least 3 food stains on my shirt before I’ll consider changing it to go out
— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) August 17, 2022
Our kids have an old radio they've barely figured out how to work so they just turn the dial until there's something other than static so now they're listening to Christian Praise Music and my eye is twitching so hard my feet are leaving the ground
— Adam Gaylord 🌻🐛🍻 (@AuthorGaylord) August 19, 2022
Can everyone just be quiet for a minute while I try to find this street to turn on?
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) August 18, 2022
An episode of Sesame street where some tourists end up there, and they see a giant bird, and some sort of abomination that slays cookies and an angry, green man who lives in a garbage can, and everyone just keeps fucking singing about the letter R and there is a legit VAMPIRE
— 🍁Yukon Gold (@GrahamKritzer) August 18, 2022
My 6-year-old is sick with a cough, so I told him gargling with warm salt water can help. He looked at me & said, "I'm NOT going all the way to the ocean right now."
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) August 15, 2022
My son woke up at 10:30 today and had a root beer float for breakfast, so yeah, I'm pretty sure he's living his best life.
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) August 15, 2022
And just like that … pic.twitter.com/qR7eS21sK0
— The Dad Briefs (@SladeWentworth) August 14, 2022
What I say: Don’t leave dirty dishes or food in your room.
What my kids hear: Your room should look like a prison cafeteria riot.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) August 19, 2022
My 6yo ran out of the living room shouting “I’m going to set something on FIRE!!!” and I didn’t even stand up.
This is how I know my kids have broken me
— Richard Dean (@dad_on_my_feet) August 10, 2022
Thrill-seeking in my 20s: I’m going skydiving!
Thrill-seeking in my 40s: I’m going grocery shopping without my wife’s list!
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) August 17, 2022
My nephew saw my cassette tape collection, and now he thinks I knew Lincoln.
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) August 19, 2022
Me: *Sliding envelope across table* How do we turn that C into an A
Teacher: Are you trying to bribe me with a coupon
Me: *Whispers* There’s more where that came from
— Mike (@Parentpains) August 18, 2022