Welcome to the latest installment of the funniest dad memes and tweets of the week.
Just a quick “please and thank you” again this week – please subscribe to my YouTube channel. Thank you.
The moms REALLY BROUGHT IT this week. The dads have their work cut out for them.
Please enjoy this collection of dad jokes, puns, memes, and rants from some funny AF dads.
My daughter came out of her bedroom, said "IT'S NATIONAL CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE DAY" and then proceeded to make chocolate chip cookies.
Anyway, this is why I prefer older kids to babies a gajillion to one.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) August 5, 2022
I should have known a relationship with the basketball player wouldn’t work; she was on the rebound
— ADHDean (@ADHDeanASL) August 4, 2022
I went camping with a group of other dads. One night we just stood around the camp fire for 20 min and talked about how difficult it is to get our kids to put garbage in a garbage can, and frankly I’ve never felt so seen in my whole life.
— No Idea: Daddy Blog (@byclintedwards) August 1, 2022
A near death experience but it’s just me waiting for my 7yo to pick out a souvenir
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) August 3, 2022
Therapist: Tell me about your happy place
Me: I’m at the beach with my whole family
Therapist: It’s the liquor store isn’t it
Me: [Looking away] Yes
— Mike (@Parentpains) August 1, 2022
I asked my 5yo what his favourite animals were when he went to the zoo today. He said he loved seeing the cheetahs, the giraffes and the dead gorilla. The gorilla was a statue.
— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) August 4, 2022
Pulling an all-nighter after 40 is not having to get up once during the night to pee.
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) August 4, 2022
My 12yo got dressed at 2:30 today. He’s going to make a great teenager.
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) August 2, 2022
Taking a vacation with family is like having major surgery; I'm going to need at least 2-3 weeks of recovery.
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) August 4, 2022
Every year some child died a gruesome death at Hogwarts, and Voldemort tried to murder everyone there and every year all the parents were just like 'idgaf you are going back we literally do not care.' just wild.
— 🍁Yukon Gold (@GrahamKritzer) August 3, 2022
Teen daughter: What? Why are you looking at me that way?? You’re all squinty and judgy.
Me: I just took my contacts out.
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) August 4, 2022
Wish I could speak on any subject with the authority of a 7 year old telling her friends about something she heard about for the first time yesterday
— Adam Gaylord 🌻🐛🍻 (@AuthorGaylord) August 3, 2022
79% of parenting during summer is asking kids to close the doors
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) August 3, 2022
So my kids' school can send summer emails, but when I email about Meet the Teacher Day I'm "out of order" and "can't bring Champagne to celebrate their return"
— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) August 4, 2022
Take your kids on a fun trip so they can come home and tell you how everything at your house sucks
— Xennaissance Dad (@XennDad) August 3, 2022
Moved my dad in just to hit him with the old, “not while you’re living under MY roof,” line
— Crockett🍀 (@CrockettForReal) August 2, 2022
Watching a documentary on Ancient Egypt when my 5 y/o stops in front of the TV, drops her jaw and says, “THEY WROTE ON WALLS? You’re not supposed to write on walls!”
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) August 4, 2022